Goddamn this noise inside my head
Like most, I absolutely love music. It’s been a passion, a release, a distraction, and a constant friend from, well.. since I can remember. And you know what? It feels even better loud. really loud — until it becomes the only thing that matters in that moment, where you feel inside the music — gone.
I’ve been to a tonne of gigs. after I turned 16 I started blazing through the festival trail and have never really looked back. Stadiums, entertainment centres, festival halls, local venues, art galleries, abandoned spaces, garages — you name it, I’ve more than likely hit it with open ears.
If you’ve ever been to a gig — you probably know well of the battle scar that rears it’s ugly head in the morning after. Enter — the ringing in your ears.
I never really thought seriously about the remnants of the night before that would wail, unstoppable throughout the day (sometime days) afterwards. I’d generally wear it with pride and think of it as a souvenir of the previous night / band’s set. And because the ringing would eventually subside — I never thought much about it.
As I got older, and more involved in the music scene I got a little wiser regarding the health of my ears. I had great ears, i could pick out sounds and hear things others couldn’t — and I needed to start protecting them.
I started wearing (which I now know were poor quality) squishy ear-plugs to gigs — which sucked. They’d practically kill all detail in the music and I’d feel disconnected from the vibe and just not feel it. Stupidly, I’d end up taking them out in frustration and return to having my ears blasted with pretty dangerous volume levels.
It wasn’t until I started playing semi-seriously in a band — practicing twice a week, having my head in close proximity to raging amps and an energetic/aggressive drummer and gigging — that I needed/started to research ear plugs in a pretty critical manner.
Alas, it was all a little too late. after smashing my ears for so many years compounded with regular jamming and gigging sans proper protection — the morning after ringing suddenly became the norm — day in, day out. The battle scars remain, and unfortunately still linger on to this day — annoyingly keeping me company and reminding me of my ignorance even as I type this.
The ringing, squealing and incessant noise in my head, pushed me into a pretty godawful headspace. There was no escape, no way of turning it off — I was, and am stuck with a distracting cacophony of cicada’s in my head. I visited a couple of ENT’s (ear nose and throat specialists), slaved away on the internet researching tinnitus, ear-plugs and all things hearing loss-like only to come to the conclusion that I have to live with the ringing in my ears, and if I want to continue heading to gigs/playing music — which was and is pretty much my life blood — I was going to have to find some proper ear plugs and really be careful with my damaged ears.
Not only was the ringing impacting my internal (un)healthy headspace, it was, and still does affect my social life. I don’t go out/see my friends in group situations very nearly as much as I used to. I’ve damaged my ears to a point that when I’m in a noisy environment it’s difficult to hear what’s going on — and my ears actually crackle, fizz and pop in some situations which make it pretty impossible to take part in conversation and the like. My life has changed quite a lot since the ringing began. I take plugs with me everywhere I go just in case it gets too loud for my dilapidated ear holes.
(… Which leads me to now, and to the music to my ears campaign.)
I now wear great ear-plugs which don’t kill the detail & feel of music; I now enjoy going to gigs without worrying too much about damaging my ears/making my ringing worse (which it actually does from time to time — even through plugs. that’s how bloody loud some of these events are). Still. ‘Safer with plugs.
If only I had these plugs and knowledge about tinnitus/hearing loss years ago — which is why I really want to get involved with this campaign; to make listening and experiencing music enjoyable and safe.
The thing is — tinnitus and hearing loss can occur gradually (like mine), or from a once off incident of having your ears smashed by ridiculous volume levels (gigs/clubs/bars)…
So if you really dig your music, head out to gigs / clubs etc — do yourself and your future self a favour… Get to an audiologist and have some musician ear plugs made for you. It’s an investment for your future that you will not regret.
