Saying Goodbye To My Past Self

Dear Former Self,

While I thoroughly enjoyed having energy and being full of life, I am also grateful you decided to backstab me and fail me. Had you not betrayed me, I would not know what life is really about. While I would rather work 18 hour days without an ache or pain, you taught me what gratitude is and helped me realize that I’m lucky and fortunate to have a job and a roof over my head.

While I would rather sleep through the night instead of countless sleepless nights, you taught me appreciation for every ounce of time I spend awake as well as an appreciation for any hours of sleep I do get. Even though I have times of anger and rage for the way you betrayed me and left me to suffer, I now live in the present because that’s exactly what it is…a gift. While at times I become filled with hatred for you for giving up and leaving…I came to know a new found strength inside of myself I never knew existed.

So Former Self, as I come to accept my Present Self, it is time I let go of what you did to me once and for all. I no longer have the energy or strength to be angry nor do I want to spend another second being anything but happy as I will never get those seconds that turn to minutes…minutes that turn to hours…hours that turn into days back and it’s truly worthless to spend them angry at you.

So with acceptance and peace, I forgive you Former Self. Because of you, I am able to cherish the basic things in life that you used to take for granted. Because of you, I have found strength and courage I never knew existed. And because of that, I am eternally grateful for your betrayal and I forgive you.

Sincerely,

Present Self


Originally published at thelifeofaspoonie.org on April 19, 2016.