The person behind your mom’s favorite social media account.

Hola, la famiglia. The intention of this blog is to avoid getting threats from users via Snapchat & Twitter about health related matter, and (finally) decided to pile up my interests via this blog. Since both social media platforms allow the fatties to forcefully watch what I post, I think I’ll be safe here.

Cool story bro, but who are you?

Brethren, I thank thee for viewing my blog cool so far. I am what my former NASA recognized physiology professor claims as a “bearded beefcake”. I currently study at Pennsylvania State University majoring in Nutritional Science. Previously, I finished my associate’s degree at a college with its sister school called Irvine Valley College & Saddleback College. Changed majors twice — Accounting & English Literature. My goal in life is to turn many fatties into former fatties — like myself.

Changed major twice? Could have gone a third. Third time’s charm they say…

Omik’s a charm. I changed majors because I was still in the process of deciding what the fudge I wanted to do with my life. My dad suggested to major in accounting just like him so he can guarantee me a spot from some place he works at, aka was6a. After taking a few intro classes, I couldn’t imagine myself dealing with a bunch of numbers and figuring out why Sabeecha is in debt from spending all of her savings from a set of “miracle” pills from Thailand that guarantees weight loss. Aside from Literature, lol. If the curtains are blue, its fucking blue. I don’t need to provide some shakespearean tale and “out of the box” analysis to explain HOW its blue.

Wait, like myself? What do you mean O’ Bearded Beefcake?

Yes brethren, I too was a fatty. Back when I just hit puberty, I used to weigh 115 kg (that’s around 253 lbs to you pork eaters). I had zero interests in academic studies and all I wanted was to clog my arteries while looting pixelated monsters and yell “huzzah!” with other fatties around the globe. We bounded like cocaine & waffles, it was beautiful…yet saddening. I valued the crap I got in-game more than my life itself. There’s this one point where I didn’t like this kid in-class, so I pointed at him figuring I’d go all wizardy and Matilda on his candy ass right out the window. Sadly, this resulted in me getting whooped in places where the sun don’t shine. Yeah, I could go on but let’s keep it PG shall we?

Sorry if your attempt on being Matilda didn’t work. So how did you lose weight?

Don’t worry about it sugar tits. I first lost weight from a summer camp called Camp La Jolla (now owned and called Wellspring Camp La Jolla), located in the heart of San Diego California. At a two month duration, I managed to lose from 115 kg to 88 kg (that’s about 50 lbs loss). It was the proudest moment of my life. I was very fortunate to attend this camp, and having the honor of meeting people whom I value very much. Sammy Nady, Alex Kluft, Dan Cabral, John Folsom, Nancy Lenhart, Matt Brown, Kelly Hoey, Cory McLindsay, Kyle (I forgot your last name, sorry boo) Ryan Rohla (yiiiiiy!! haha), my Kuwaitian mafia group, that one crazy saudi chick, and my crush from France who turned out to be Lesbo, and to anyone else I haven’t mentioned — love you folks. Haven’t went off-topic; these people were part of the contribution *insert additional cheesy ending*.

Okay, so the actual Camp La Jolla weight loss secret will have to be posted right after I’m done with this bio wannabe.

Bio wannabe? Zain ma kamalt qe9at 7ayatik.

Don’t make me point my finger at you.

So why Nutrition exactly?

Because I don’t hop on bandwagons. I chose Nutrition because I fell in love behind the mechanisms of nutrition in one’s body. Especially witnessing how my body transitioned massively in a two month span. I first found it ridiculous how food plays a humongous role when it comes to results, and simply I fell in love with its absurdity.

Aim

The sole purpose of this blog is to provide (and learn) all the lessons and errors I learned on how to lose/gain weight, while providing some entertainment along the way. I find joy when I theorycraft with others about the mechanisms of the human body, so let that not hesitate you. Especially if it involves your glutes and the physiology behind its growth.