How to know when you have a full-blown Meeple obsession

Awww would you look at that, it’s like a mini wooden person. How cute, right? Well, yes, but this is a slippery slope. You gotta be careful before you become fully obsessed. Sure it’s less harmful than being obsessed or addicted to other things, I know I’d rather have too many hoodies with meeple puns on them than be addicted to black tar heroin, but still, it is an OBSESSION.
Guess what though! You can super easily avoid falling prey to this most terrible and debilitating of obsessions, and if you feel yourself slipping, just proclaim ‘MEEPLE DON’T OWN ME’ loudly, quickly gather all of your meeple based tabletop games, and then have a good old fashion bin fire with them. Nothing beats a bin fire. Just use some bricks and make sure the bin is metal, nobody likes melted plastic all over their carefully manicured lawn.
How do you spot if you’re slipping though? Well, I’m glad you asked…
You have a personal collection of meeple memes

HAHAHA LOOK HAHAHA, SUCH FUNNY MEME. Come on, I’ve seen this one fifty times already guy, you don’t need to save it locally in a folder named ‘MEMEPLES’, that’s just unnecessary. It may seem innocent enough on the surface, but you’ll know it if you’ve done it before. That funny feeling you get when you go to tweet and think… ‘I know, I’ve got just the meme for this, let me upload it from my personal collection’. SAVE YOURSELF BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE. You can’t set the recycle bin on fire but you certainly can move that folder there.
You own more than 1 item of clothing depicting meeple
You know the hoody I’m on about. It says something like ‘Good Meeple’ on it, or ‘Meeple FO LIFE BRAH’. Such a tabletop bro sheesh. Come at me brah.
Just throw it in the bin fire whilst you’re at it. Oh, and unbookmark ‘tabltopnerdzorclothing.org’ whilst you’re at it (really not sure if this is an actual real site I’m insulting here…)
You have a favourite colour meeple in certain games

Ok, ok, ok, I know what you’re gunna say; ‘but I always play the green meeple, how dare you suggest that I am in any way an addict!’ Well, that’s fair, but what I’m talking about here is the ‘Oh, I always play the purple meeple in this game, the colour just really brings out the curvature of their arms against the green of the board.’ WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T THINK THERE IS A DIFFERENCE. I take it all back, you’re an addict. I’d highly recommend the bin fire at this point. I think I’m just obsessed with bin fires actually. DEAR LORD HELP ME…
You dream about meeple

Don’t dream about meeple, guys, dream about BIN FIRES. They are glorious and incredible and the whole world stops when you have a bin fire. In fact, why don’t you just send me your meeple based tabletop games and I’ll HAVE A FRICKIN BIN FIRE FOR YOU. I literally would LOVE to. I’ll even drive to pick up the games first, what do you mean you live across the atlantic ocean? BRB booking plane tickets. This bin fire will be GLORIOUS.
You have accidentally said the word ‘meeple’ instead of ‘people’
‘All my friends are such great meeple… I mean people!’
Such an addict sheesh. I’d never say something like that, because I’m not a fire… I mean liar! I mean bin! Wait what!? JUST LET ME HAVE A BIN FIRE ALREADY.
You literally grind up wooden meeple and use a needle to shoot up that woody meeple goodness straight to the veins

Definitely see a medical specialist. I feel this is something beyond even my blog-level, bin fire specific psychiatric help, you’re on your own dude. Probably go check into some sort of hospital or rehab or something, injecting that much coloured wood is probably quite poisonous, if not mildly uncomfortable at best.
Plus, who’d use wood to inject, rather use that for some sort of, dare I say, fire? Alright I’m done here…
Yours bincerely,
Chris
