My Favourite Kinds of Dice, because I’m sure you care…

Oh look, it’s your favourite topic again Chris… dice! Hurrah yet more whinging about dice for absolutely no reason. But hold your horses folks! Or if you don’t actually have any horses just hold the closest thing to you that resembles a horse. This article is about my FAVOURITE dice. Maybe just tinged with a little bit of sarcasm. For the purposes of this post, this is me…

Sure I have the d20 car dice, and what, come at me bro. Stop being jelly over my car d20s yo.

For reals though, I do have favourite dice, some of them are listed below, and other things listed below are just made up because I thought they were funny. So it’s sort of a fun guessing game as well, see if you can guess where I’m being sincere. I’ll give you a hint… I’m not. Not much anyway…

Dice with faces on them

Look at those cute little green cubes! Who WOULDN’T love those, I mean it’s physically impossible. Tiny cute little zombie dices awww. Don’t correct me on the whole dices/die thing either I did it on purpose just to annoy you.

Seriously though, they are cute dice, and I love this concept, super simple, super thematic, and super fun to roll loads and loads of dice with faces on.

Colourful dice that have purpose

Hey guys, you know in like, design and stuff, people actually use colour to convey MEANING, not just as a cool way to make things look pretty. They actually mean something, what a revelation.

Now I’m a designer sure, so I probably appreciate this a little bit too much, but I just literally have a design nerdgasm whenever anybody uses colour successfully as a visual identifier. I mean like, I actually get this weird happy sensation when someone asks me to roll a dice and I can just go ‘oh, that’s the blue ones’ in my head. It’s like an orgasm but way less sexual, and about the same level of awkward.

Dice that still behave like dice when you roll them

THESE DICE ARE NOT GOOD. THE END.

This is a well documented rant of mine but don’t you just love it when you roll a dice and it ACTUALLY rolls across the table. It’s like it was supposed to be a dice or something holy guacamole.

Objects that do not roll or behave like dice should behave are not dice, they are just glorified paperweights with unruly scrawled numbers on the sides. Hell, I can’t even read the numbers most of the time…

Dice with riduculous numbers of sides

Now that is a thing of beauty, just look at it, it’s beautiful face, with that moustache and red hat and everything. The dice isn’t half bad as well. This joke is a cliche though, so we’ll swiftly move on…

Any dice with more than 6 sides is a pleasure to roll though. Not to THAT extent, that’s a weird amount of pleasure to get from rolling an inanimate plastic object. Just a little bit of a pleasure, like a totally normal amount. Stop putting boring d6s in games people, 8 and up is way more exciting. Yep, I know the wholesale prices of d6s is probably way cheaper on Ali Baba but I just don’t really care that much. I mean just go d100 if possible…

Dice that for no reason present information that is completely obscure and utterly useless unless you have some sort of engineering degree or can read heiroglyphics…

Just look at that! So easy to understand, it’s like you d0n’t even NEED words, or a manual or ANYTHING, the meaning is IMMEDIATELY CLEAR.

I don’t get this one by the way, but I do love it. Weird symbols on dice are great. Just incredibly frustrating and confusing.

That look pretty darn wizard though. Bringing it back. Wizard that is, not these dice, I’ll never bring them with me to games night ever again. I will study them until my knowledge and understanding of this strange and foreign symbol language is complete. Now excuse me whilst I lock myself in a room to read the rules for the next 2 weeks.

Yours dicely,

Chris