I fell in love with my best friend…

My freshman year of college, I moved 9 hours from home leaving family and friends. I came here knowing no one. When I got here I met a group of people that I really liked, except one person. He was odd, annoying and came off as dumb. I continued to hang out with this group of people, there was about 6 of us. As weeks went past I got to know each and every one of them and surprisingly the odd guy was my favorite. He started to make me laugh and he was nice and respectful (and not bad looking). Him and I started hanging out one on one. Weeks past by and I started to have a little crush on him but he was my best friend so I didn’t want to mess that up. We had every class together, we done homework with each other, and we traveled together. We started to have sexual relations but agreed to continue to be just friends. I had to continuously tell myself not to have feelings for my best friend, but it was hard. The first semester was ending and I got the courage to tell him I liked him. He said he liked me too but wanted to continue to be just friends. I didn’t want to loose him as a friend so I agreed. We didn’t see each other during Christmas break, but we kept in contact with each other. When we came back to school for second semester, we were closer than before. We hung out more, had more meaningful talks and laughed so much more! I loved the way I felt being around him. We were so comfortable around each other, we knew we could count on each other for anything. He was my best friend and I loved him. Little did he know, I was falling in love with him. We would go dancing, we would get drunk and take care of each other and we would laugh until we cried. There was never a dull or awkward moment until one night out of the blue he told me he had a girlfriend. He said she was from his hometown and it was a new thing. At that moment my heart broke into a million pieces. I had never fallen in love in my entire life, I didn’t think I knew what it felt like to be in love until that moment… I didn’t know what to do besides cry. I was numb and I was confused. I sat in my dorm for the next week just trying to wrap my head around the situation. He never mentioned a girl or liking anyone and we were still having sexual relation… Every time I seen him my stomach would knot up and I would feel sick. I wanted to hate him so much but I couldn’t cause I agreed to be his best friend. I never told him I was in love with him but in my mind I thought that he should have known from the way I acted… I avoided him for as long as I could until we had a group project together. Weeks after I found out about his girl friend, she came down and I met her. We hung out for a few hours and the entire time he didn’t act like himself. He wasn’t being his normal goofy self and that upset me. I held it together for a few hours but then I had to leave. After I left, I broke down and cried. I thought I could handle hanging out with them but I couldn’t. I couldn’t watch the person I was in love with, be with someone else. It tore me up inside, it broke me and I didn’t know how to go on with life without my best friend… Now there’s two weeks left of school and I’m just trying to get by without him. I fell madly in love with my best friend and he has no clue.

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