Enjoli
Kristi Coulter
14.6K479

I’m a man. I’m also a black man, so I totally vent with you on your white 3 male colleagues who blaringly are ignorant of well everything but namely their own privelage and how society operates. I will also doubly admit there are apparent struggles that happen exclusively to only women.

But there is also a tendency to paint a woefully thick picture so thick you fall in love with the trope and Imo placebo your way out of what it takes to retaliate and answer your (office) challenges. Men don’t earn or get respect in the office or meeting room by being men. Rather the successful ones learn to perfect being or exhuding confident and steadfast. and plenty of men and average men (or ‘weaker men’ or short men, or men who appear too kind,..) lose this battle every day. It’s ficticous to not battle for confidence and respect and attention & simply whine you’re being underestimated. Maybe you didn’t fight the hardest. Maybe you’re not fucking good at it. Yet.

Imo just like middle class black folk can overly fall in love with their trope and woes,

I see women do this, just as much if not far far more. You act like hurt creatures that have to bond together as WOMEN and protect being delicate but at the same time want to be a respected badass that conquers all men (read: competition ) without the proper difficulty.

If you want to be a badass at the office you have to master everything that comes with it — and execute these things everyday just to get recognition SOMETIMES. Things like intra-’ and interpersonal skills as well as how to win without stepping on toes, or learning to deal with collateral damage. Please don’t think men especially successful ones have NOT honed these skills. Please don’t think men and many aren’t honING these skills. Maybe you should watch them longer and see how much intra personal effort they are putting into leading. Imo you have 80% of the same chances. The rest gender MAY influence but then again how YOU curtail and respond to that insecurity will lead to more too. And imo fill that gap closer to 90 or more. Being the lead is not easy. Some people get doubted because they’re short. Some get it because people are jealous and they are easy to bounce out. It’s a fight.

Don’t spend 2 hours putting on make up and a body revealing dress that ends at the tip of your butt, wait to be asked questions or lead through interesting conversation on a date, then demand you want to be respected for your ideas. It’s preposterous. What did you just do. Woman. Damn.

I’m all for girls who try and are hit with a gender disparity.

but 75% of the lady-esqie whiners have eye shadow on and are crying “whoa is me. It’s because I’m too pretty.”

  • I’m sorry but leave your pretty little flowers and delicate girl world at home. It deserves no place other than your own fantasies. I see facebook profiles and I count 100 vain effeminate female profiles before I get to 1 guy I have a problem with.
  • I think a lot are misinterpreting tough competition for gender discrimination. And if all you did is take selfies in your free time hmm I wonder why.
  • You gotta be a badass! I would have told those men how wrong they were and how ridiculous they are being by not even realizing they are speaking on behalf of women in the office.

There’s an eloquent response there and not standing up for yourself is not something you have to do “as a woman.”

Nothing is something you have to do as a woman. Woman are over analyzing and over-abbundingly shouldering on feminine handicaps roles tropes and corners of the ring.

I say this to black folk who’s black identity, the part they themselves willfully identity with, colludes them away from simply walking forward and getting results in the tangent world.

Society is hard and *by fundemental definition* life or being a singular conscious experience* feels ansty from ANY perspective. Imo people from traditionally marginalized identities mistake these fundemental lonely (& common) universal feelings and think if they didn’t have said -social-surface-crums-’ of identity all those angsty feelings would go away. When what they don’t see is the way into and out of said angst is far more personal and buried onto (y)our (singular-personal)-entity and journey through life.

The core of you and your angst is beautifully far above your role or gender or any of those [frivolous] definitions. That we use down here in the touch-able world.

society labels describers tools of divide and even (thus) oppression Fortunately are societies problems. And I think are going to be around for a while.

& imo the path & further progress up through this angst is a completely different (and taller) ladder. yes being a recognized margananalized role will slow you down, because you think you have to now solve this problem, — or worse, this problem all is you see.

(So don’t fall for this lower standard trap)

But imo you are totally underestimating what you are, what you can and can be accomplishing as an individual. And *that strength is what’s going to absolve *perceived gaps and climb you up the ladder of happiness. To Divinity and solitude enlightenment -

Society will always have their isms cliques or genders to fight over. It’s what keeps dumb people distracted.

You however imo have the means to speak and command far above that.

You may be too in love with the woman. Which is why it’s the only thing on your mind 24/7 and the only lense your anger will let you see through and defend vehemently.

I’m not saying it’s not there or that such biases are right. I am trying to say MUCH more and show much more.

GL