Now there’s even a book about it.
Spoiler alert — the book is mine. It’s a subject I felt compelled to write about, and I am going to tell you why.
Before I start, though, picture the scene.
Jan is sitting quietly at her desk, contemplating the view from her second floor window.
The half empty car park dotted with unkempt and balding trees. Silently shedding their autumn leaves onto the faded white lines below.
A couple of colleagues from the neighbouring office are strolling back from the snack van with coffees in their hands. Taking their time. Not talking much by the looks of it.
This is one of Jan’s two days in the office, and it still lacks the pre-pandemic buzz. Part of her misses the commotion, but there’s no denying she gets more done in the peace and quiet.
Anyway, enough of the daydreaming. This is the day. Concentrate, woman. You’re going to nail it. This is the day you are going to walk up to your boss and ask for a pay rise.
—
Now at this point, you are going to be sitting in one of two camps:
- Either you are thinking “well, go on then, what’s the problem?”
- Or you are tightening up, thinking “rather you than me”.
What compelled me to write my book was discovering that this second group is significantly larger than the first.
And it isn’t just a case of hating the idea of asking for a pay rise, but still doing it.
It turns out most of us have never asked for a pay rise in our lives.
That’s just madness. And it has to change.
Over half of UK workers have never asked for a pay rise
This revelation from a 2022 Yougov survey (linked at the end of this story) genuinely shocked me.
Not because I didn’t understand the fear of asking the question. Believe me, I do.
But I thought I was one of a minority of people who found the whole process incredibly awkward.
And the news gets even worse if you are female (I know, that’s hardly unusual is it), as the figure rises even higher to 60%.
So what’s the reason behind it?
Well, the more cynical amongst you may argue that a lot of these people either aren’t that good at their jobs, or are being paid fairly already.
Yeah, ok mate.
Some of them maybe, but it ain’t going to be over half the workforce.
And there are a few sectors where your pay is rigidly defined, with any raises negotiated en-masse by union agreement.
But what about everyone else?
It’s a lack of confidence that holds us back
The more I looked into it, and the more I spoke to people about their feelings, the more a single theme appeared:
Self-confidence.
Or rather the lack of it when it comes to saying “I’m worth this — so please pay me it.”
We are talking about hardworking, capable, effective employees who care about their work. The very colleagues who get things done and add value in unique ways.
Exactly the sort of people a company wants to keep, in other words.
But they still go to pieces when faced with the idea of declaring their own worth to their boss.
The thing is, I knew exactly where they were coming from.
Years ago I felt this pain so badly I came perilously close to quitting a job I was excelling in, just to avoid starting a conversation about my salary.
The reason I ended up staying for fifteen years, ultimately heading their marketing department, is the same reason I felt I had to write this book.
Time to do something about it
I had applied for roles at other companies, and was being invited for interviews, when it finally struck me.
If I didn’t get a handle on my fears now, then sooner or later I would only find myself in exactly the same position with my next employer. And the one after that.
Something had to change. I had to change. If I wanted to beat my fears.
I’m an engineer by training, and as an engineer if I want to understand how something works I start by looking at the processes involved.
Deconstructing them to get to the component parts.
Then I examine those parts, what purpose they have, and how they all fit together. Talking to the people who build, operate and run all these different elements.
That’s exactly how I tackled understanding how to best ask for a pay rise.
It’s a process that anyone can learn
The basic principles were simple:
- I needed to know how much I should ask for, and how to justify that as being fair.
- I needed my boss to agree with me, and to positively want to give me the raise.
- I needed to have enough confidence in my position to pluck up the courage to do it.
- I needed to pick a good time for the business to be in a position to agree.
The logic aspects were simple enough to cover off with a little research.
But the real trick turned out to be how to handle the various people involved. Understanding their different drivers and making sure everyone was batting for my side.
That took a little longer to set up.
But. It. Worked.
Not just once, but each time I subsequently asked for another pay rise.
It worked at different companies, and with different bosses. The same result — I got what I asked for.
More importantly, these conversations were positive and relaxed. My boss could see where I was coming from, and why the amount I was asking for was reasonable.
It just took a bit of preparation each time for my fear to subside.
This is how I wrote “Because I’m Worth It”
Over the years I further refined my approach. I taught my process to friends and colleagues who were looking to ask for more money. And it worked for them as well.
As I rose through the ranks into senior management I started using the same principles in reverse.
My feeling being that if I can work out what a fair rate of pay is for myself, I should be able to do the same for my team.
If I always want to be paid fairly then I should commit to paying others fairly as well.
So I used to call them in when I could see they had made a clear step up, and I would tell them why I thought they were worth more now.
Which went down well, as you can imagine.
And now I have put all my learnings together in a self-help book called “Because I’m Worth It: How to Ask For a Pay Rise”.
I am hoping it will help many more people to conquer their fear of asking for a bigger salary.
By showing them how to be confident in their own value, and how to get that across.
Explaining how to pick the right time, and how to make it a no-brainer for their boss to say “yes”.
Pre-publication copies are out now, being read and reviewed. If the feedback is positive then the book will be available on Amazon very soon.
If you are interested in the meantime, you can find out more here: https://www.howtoaskforapayrise.com/
Remember — you should always be paid the going rate for what you do.
Anything less simply isn’t fair.
Link to the Yougov research:
