I have had these moments — really bad at times but then I stopped listening to the voice in my head. As an (now ex) hypochondriac I (eventually) realised that my own head wasn’t always my best friend and over quite a few years learned that I could ignore it and not let it ruin me. I went through the same for the smoke and again when I got bad depression after an accident. In each case it took me a while to figure out that I could ignore myself but, in each case, it worked and now I have no problem really. If I start to feel wobbly from smoking, or worried about my health, or depressed I give myself a few minutes of wallowing and then do something, anything to take my mind off it. Creative stuff is good to do, like writing or writing music or playing my guitar, especially with the smoking, but a good film that can take me away for a couple of hours also works usually. I now have no problem but I do have to remember that my head doesn’t always work in my best interest and ignore it, even laugh at myself for taking it all so seriously — as Camus said (apparently) “Life is a cosmic joke” — so just laugh, eh?
