HILLARY — IT’S ME BOB — HERE IS YOUR OPENING STATEMENT FOR THE NEXT DEBATE

Good evening

Donald you are a ridiculous lying piece of shit. You have never cared about anyone but yourself and now you want the keys to the country and the world.

For fuksake sake — you owned a casino where the house always wins by separating fools from their money and you drove it over a cliff.

Your values are so horrible that David Duke thinks you’re the greatest thing since no iron sheets and you pretend to not know who he is.

You are hiding your tax returns because you think its ok to pay no taxes to run the country and its infrastucture in which people fly and drive to pay you money at your golf courses, hotels and buy your condos.

Your idea of education policy is getting desperate people to give you their life savings by setting up a fake university selling fake dreams.

So far the only maybe true thing I have heard out of your mouth is what you said in a nationally televised debate, watched by children across America, about the size of your genitals. I believe what you said because a guy who cheats on two wives and jokes about being sexually attracted to his own daughter and then blames me for my husband’s inability to keep his fly zipped has definitely got balls the size of Mexico.

I want you to know that every time you interrupt me like you did the last time, my supporters — especially woman who know what it’s like to have to quietly smile while listening to sexist blowhard morons all day — will make an on line donation. They can do this by going to willsomebodypleasegetthisassholeoutofourlives.com

I have made mistakes and I will learn from them. I also have the experience, judgment, stamina and skill set to keep this country prosperous and safe. For you politics is a reality TV/professional wrestling bullshit festival. Heaven help us if you win this thing.