Overcome the fear of success: Big dreams can be paralyzing especially when you know they are within reach.

We often hear about the ‘fear of failure’… the paralysing possibility of not being able to reach your true potential or achieve your goals. Fear is not a natural state of being, we learn ‘how to be fearful’. From a young age, we have been gradually conditioned to fear certain things that our immediate environment has deemed- scary. I realized that its that very fear that makes things exciting and challenges us to achieve more than we ever have. If your dreams don’t scare you- they are not big enough right? The fear of success is something that I grappled with for a long time.
My dreams scared me. So much. My dreams scared me so much that they would paralyze me. It’s interesting, growing up, I had every reason to be afraid yet I still pursued my dreams and aimed for personal success far beyond my reach.
Now that I am an independent millenial with a world of opportunities and resources at my disposal, I find myself afraid. Here are the 3 big things I learnt about the fear of success and overcoming it.
- It’s not about you.
I always thought that I was afraid of what would happen to me if I blew up and became “Oprah famous”, would I be able to handle it? Shouldn’t I be pacing myself?. The reality however is that I have prepared, and prepared and prepared for the eventuality of living and walking in my true purpose, but I was never ready for (and potentially will never be ready for) how people will respond to that success. I realized that what I was really afraid of ,is what people will think. Growing up, I stood out so much that I wanted to actually blend in and not offend people by standing out. Over the years, I had to dig really deep to let go of this fear of standing out because experience taught me that we cannot control how people ultimately treat us for living a life of purpose and abundance. Playing small is so outdated and the truth is, people will change. It is possible that some people will not be happy about your new “grand” journey …but that’s okay. The sooner you make peace with that the better.
2. The moment you show up, people will meet you where you are.
People can only meet you where you are. If you don’t show up for your dreams, no one will. This is a big lesson if you are still struggling to muster up the courage to set that crucial business meeting that you know will propel you into new possibilities. The reason we don’t show up is because we know that some opportunities will require more out of us than we are willing to give at this point. You will have to show up eventually- you might as well do it now. When you begin to do the things that scare you, the right people and opportunities will find you. The moment I decided to start a women’s leadership development program — I found people who were ready to show up for me. I just needed to show up first.
3. Surround yourself with accountability partners.
Accountability partners are people who are for you, who know the crazy dream you have and are more convinced than you are — that your dream is achievable. Accountability partners aren’t always people we are close to like friends and family. Your accountability partner is sometimes the guy you met at a conference who was brave enough to ask “where are you going in life?” and took it upon himself to check up on you ever so often to see how far you are from achieving your inspiring dream. Often we want to avoid these humans at every cost because they see what we don’t see- they see us as the finished product. That’s how much they are convinced of our dreams. That is scary. However, incredibly necessary. I have a friend who sends me long emails about how I need to be working harder for my dreams and although I hate to admit it, that has done so much for me and often forces me to snap out of my paralysis. Accountability partners stop you from slippping away quietly and taking the last breath on your dream. They are a special type of breathing machine that helps you keep your dream alive at all costs.
So what?
Overcoming the fear of success is a necessary personal journey. You can’t stay in that paralysis because before you know it, your life will have passed you by and your dreams will be a vague memory that someone else went on to achieve. Today, write down all the things that have held you back from actually showing up for yourself and actualizing the dreams that scare you!
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