Does Distance Really Make The Heart Grow Fonder?

Here’s The Facts:

It’s a saying we’ve all heard before, but does absence really make the heart grow fonder? Well, according to research from the Journal of Communication, the answer could be yes!

When it comes to intimacy, the research shows that couples who aren’t able to spend the majority of their time together (namely long-distance couples) have more meaningful interactions that couples who see one another daily. These meaningful interactions are the foundation for building emotional intimacy in a relationship.

Making The Effort

Psychologists Jeffrey T. Hancock of Cornell University and Crystal Jiang of the City University of Hong Kong co-authored the research which also suggests that couples in long distance relationships make more effort to keep their romantic fire burning. From ensuring they have time to consciously communicate to getting creative when it comes to sexual intimacy long-distance couples make ‘making an effort’ part of their relationship non-negotiables.

Long distance couples are hyper aware that in order to make their relationships a success, they have to put in extra work. Conversely, close distance couples don’t have the same mindset, and the weight that they do actually put on making an effort is often not relative to that of their long-distance counterparts.

Forget the Daily Grind

As a result of the lack of physical closeness between long distance couples, they tend not to get wrapped up with the small, insignificant arguments that many close-distance couples do. Nobody cares if he’s left the toilet seat up. Nobody gets annoyed if she’s come home an hour later than she said. Neither bat an eyelid at the other’s ‘irritating’ habits.

Long distance couples don’t have time for bickering. Their relationships are fuelled by important conversations and loving interactions. They treasure the time that they can actually spend communicating so don’t want to waste it with the trivial.

Help From Tech

Communication has never been easier though. Skype, FaceTime and a plethora of instant messaging platforms allow long-distance couples to connect in real time, any time. But the technological advancements of the past few decades don’t just extend to communication.

Smart sex toys hit the market a few years ago and allow partners to control one another’s sexual pleasure from thousands of miles away. Smart bracelets alert long-distance lovers when the other is thinking about them — The Bond Touch is one of the best on the market! And with the abundance of long-distance apps on the market, long-distance couples can simulate almost ‘normal’ relationship.

Out of Sight Out of Mind?

But what about the flip side? What about the other well-known saying, “out of sight, out of mind” which could be adhered to long distance relationships?

Well, here’s the lowdown. This just doesn’t apply to successful long-distance relationships. For those couples who don’t think about their other half when they wake up, go days without speaking or they begin to care less and less, it often spells the end. But, think about it, the distance really has nothing to do with it. It’s nothing more than a convenient crux on which to let a relationship fizzle out.

Even those who end long distance relationships because they are simply ‘too hard’ and end it with a heavy heart, rarely cite ‘forgetting about the other one’ as their main reason.

There’s a lot that couples in close-distance relationships can actually learn from long-distance couples. Treasuring the time you have together and cherishing every moment are essential parts of any relationship but these are often taken for granted by those who see one another on a daily basis. So, if you’re falling victim to trivial relationship bickering or don’t feel like you’re spending quality time together, think, what would a long distance couple do?

Written by Jennifer Craig, SurviveLDR.com