Cunt doctors and black vaginas.
When it comes to having sex, what kind of a girl are you? Are you the kind of girl that loves to be razzle dazzled, wined and dined before you can open your legs? Or are you like the Duracell bunny — the ever ready type?
It doesn’t really matter, what matters is, are you being safe as you are being your best self?
A few weeks ago I had a conversation with my friend Nolu and she told me that the last time she used a condom was when she had sex with her ex for the first time. That was almost three years ago. As surprising as this might be to some, this was actually not surprising to me because I too spent my last relationship at risk while convincing myself that I was safe. I had sex with my ex boyfriend on the first night we met and beyond that I was comforted by the notion that he ‘pulls out’. I told myself that he was sweet and I special because I was the “only one” he went bare with (the lies!). I somehow convinced my intelligent empowered self that he was not stupid enough to not take care of himself — even as I wasn’t taking care of MYSELF.
Two semesters ago, when I went home for the holidays my sisters and I somehow found ourselves in a strange conversation about gynecologists to which my sister concluded and exclaimed “Ek loppe loop nie kont dokters nie!” translation: I don’t visit ‘cunt’ doctors! My sister, sadly, is not the only one to have this perspective, she was just the only one, in my circle, to have vocalized it. God knows that I, myself, don’t even know what the inside of a gynecologists office looks like.
I think our problem is that we don’t think our vaginas are important enough to be cared for. We are still under the impression that they don’t belong to us. We think that they are not ours to enjoy and exist only for reproductive purposes and the pleasure of other beings. If we knew and loved our labias (and vaginas) than going to the cunt doctor would be as effortless as going to a nail or hair salon for a treatment. Taking care of our vaginas is really just try to take some time to see someone about our health, or better yet and even cheaper, to examine it ourselves, eat some pineapples, give our punanis a nice young trim and rub some essential oils around there. We have to get in touch with ourselves.
But, this is all easier said than done I know. It gets especially the hardest for me when that girl at the VCT station pulls out that grocery bag of a femidon to instructs me on how to wear it. It’s not pretty and its far from convenient to insert and carry inside of me, but what is my alternative? I want to have sex and I want to live a long healthy life in good wealth!
I could go on but the simple reality of matter is, we are neglecting our vaginas, we don’t care for them. We don’t like condoms, we hate femidons! Cunt doctors are too much for us to handle and we don’t even think to drink enough water or feel ourselves up to see what’s going on down there. Worst of all, we most certainly don’t want to tell our partners to take care of our vaginas; to wear condoms and make sure they themselves are clean before they penetrate or finger us.