SONIC ADVENTURE BOO: DEMOCRAZY
Hey, welcome back! Several Thursdays ago I arranged a vote on Twitter, specifically to vote on what particular type of nonsense we were gonna get ourselves into for the next installment of Sonic Adventure B.
I gave Twitter two options for the vote: I continue my I Should Hate This But I Don’t trek through the Hero story, or I call a time-out and see what other things we could be making fun of! The polls only stayed open for two days, but passion was truly in the air. Some voted by simply clicking on the options I had provided, and others went above and beyond the call of duty to make their voices heard.
Let’s see “GIVE US CHAO”. Survey says —
Concluding the politics allegory: I’m what you could call a single issue voter because my single issue is that you guys fucking blow and also here’s Metal Harbor.
Sonic is in prison and I honestly forget why? It doesn’t matter, it does not matter.
Someone breaks into his quarter to rescue his ass, and while you’re led to THINK Tails is the guy who shows up, it’s actually Amy!
Apparently, she too heard the news about Sonic’s radical acts and ran out to Prison Island to find him because Amy Likes Sonic and that’s all there is to her character.
Sonic expresses misery at being profiled and he also does some stuff.
But apparently Amy knows where the other hedgehog is! Hey, that is great news. She has a wicked steep price for her info, however
Will Sonic take the bait?
No Way!!
STAGE 04: [METAL HARBOUR]
I don’t know if anyone’s been doing this but you can right click those level things to listen to the music of their respective levels. Are we cool on that? Okay? Okay.
Welcome to Metal Harbor!
Whoa, that blue box over there sure looks interesting. Donnie can we get a close up on that box.
Thanks, Donnie.
Anyways I just wanted to check out this interesting box and not interact with it in any capacity besides this quick intermission. Absolutely nothing is going to happen with this box, and after this little thing I will be leaving it alone for pretty much forever.
No biggie!
On what planet am I supposed to be able to hit all these rings. Sonic can’t even jump that far, you guys know he’s not good with jumping and that’s a really sensitive topic for him. Mario jumps better then him and that’s this whole thing Sonic goes through. You guys know that.
Please be more accountable with this sort of thing, okay.
oh REAL classy, guys. I bet Sonic’s actually gonna have to talk with someone about today. Give yourselves a hand. Who did this.
You had that coming anyways.
Whoa! Someone’s left their Light Shoes out on the top of this fixture. AskJeeves informs me that these actually allow the wearer to zip around using floating rings as the path, a technique passed down throughout the generations, being awarded only to true heroes.
Let’s be nice and return them.
This blue box again! These are probably gonna just keep sprouting up and we shouldn’t pay any attention to them because we are focusing on this level, as opposed to anything else we might have voted on and lost tragically.
We’re basically at the end of this level (like real homestretch territory) but there’s actually a lot to unpack in this image. It is going to take a while but I am here for you.
First, this little hat thing!
Second, what’s all the holler about this blue box?
To conclude, this launcher looks really weird, maybe we can discuss that?
One of my favorite things about Sonic Adventure 2 is the thematic contrast between Sonic The Hedgehog and the actual military (something i discussed in further detail last time) and this screencap really just sums it up.
The dichtomy between a Sonic checkpoint and a missile is the accidental hot take of the week. It is the Facebook meme your cousin from Newark shares about staying loyal but lethal to your true friends. It is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen.
It is Yuji Naka’s Banksy.
Anyways we’re gonna hop on it and see where it takes us.
Hey, that wasn’t so bad! Let’s —
MISSILE LAUNCH IN 15 SECONDS
Next week: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
