Lifehack Your Parenting with Homeschooling
I never imagined being home with my child each day for homeschool would help to make me a better parent, but it has.
Homeschooling has never interrupted my relationship with my youngest child like public school interrupted my relationship with my older sons. There was no sense of foreboding when she turned five and I knew I had to send her off to strangers to be “taught.”
Homeschooling enables us to simply add to our parent-child relationship.
Just as I let her hold my fingers while she learned to take her first steps, and as I supported her as she learned to ride a bike and roller skate, I walk alongside her as she learns to read books on her own and as she makes new scientific discoveries.
Her education hasn’t become something separate and cumbersome, but more of a natural extension of our every day life.
With that said, like parenting itself, homeschooling is not always easy. there are days when I need a break. In my experience, homeschooling helps me to feel less guilty for needing and taking this time for myself, because my daughter and I are together every day, all day.
When my sons were in school, to take a little time to myself meant I was missing out on the precious little time we had together. I either had to take time out of our evening, or I had to take time out of our weekends, because the rest of the time they were in school. I felt I was constantly missing out — on time to myself, or on time with them. I don’t wrestle with this as a homeschooling parent.
Perspective Changes Everything
As a man thinketh in his heart, so shall he be. J. Allen
It may sound cliche, but our mindset and what we mentally ruminate on have a profound influence on our lives and how we homeschool our children. To homeschool well, you need not put on your rose colored glasses and sit around singing Kum ba yah, but it is wise to keep perspective.
I like to give myself a reality check once in a while, to be sure I’m still living true to my beliefs regarding parenting, education, and how I want to relate to my child. This is especially important when unexpected stressors arise. It’s then that I step back to see the big picture.
For example, when my child is feeling really frustrated with a homeschool lesson and I feel the need to push it, is it possible to put it off and go play outside for a while, or even the rest of the day, and then come back to the lesson tomorrow? If our family is experiencing stresses that are beyond our control, can we put homeschooling aside for a few days?
The answer has always been absolutely.
If I’m feeling overwhelmed, I stop and ask myself if I am putting unnecessary expectations on my shoulders that are making me feel burdened. When I pause for this reality check, I often see that I can make little changes to my perspective that make a drastic change in my life and how I homeschool my child.
It also helps to remember why I wanted to homeschool in the first place:
- I really enjoy being with my child.
- I truly believe that children learn best when they are able to learn at their own pace and are encouraged to explore topics that interest them.
- I don’t believe that my relationship with my child has to change suddenly when she turns five years old.
- Mass education is ineffective and homeschooling provides the unique opportunity to customize the learning to each child.
Taking time to pause and evaluate my thoughts helps me refocus and helps me ensure that I’m relating to my child in the healthiest way possible. From this point, I can help facilitate her learning in a way that isn’t forced or stressful. I can relax, and in turn, she can relax.
Aim for Progress, Not Perfection
There are no awards given to the best homeschool parent, so ditch the notion that you have to be anything more than who you are. All parents make mistakes — we’re human. Our children aren't going to suffer for the rest of their lives because we skipped a math lesson when they were ten years old, or because your seven-year-old isn’t sure where to put the hour hand on an analog clock.
It’s okay.
Try to stay focused on what your child is learning. Focus on his progress in areas where he may struggle and let him know about times when you struggled with a subject or when trying something new.
That’s where the magic is.
As homeschooling parents, we have the unique opportunity to share experiences like this in the moment, when it really counts. Our children don’t have to sit through an entire class period or wait until the end of the day to connect with us and get our support.
We can connect with them in the moment and assure them that we, too, have had moments when we’ve struggled with understanding something new. We can assure them that perfection isn’t the goal — learning is. It takes the pressure off their shoulders and provides an opportunity to strengthen our bonds with our children.
Keep It Simple, Seriously
I’m not the type of parent who enjoys having a schedule that’s jam-packed with homeschooling activities. While we do enjoy outings and time with our friends during the week, I make down-time a priority in our family, alongside any other lessons. It’s important for children to have time to daydream, play, and freely explore the world around them.
Homeschooling gives us a distinct advantage in this area because we do not have the time limits of class bells ringing to force us to move on to the next topic. We are not limited by the walls of a classroom to facilitate learning.
If your child enjoys structure, however, feel free to work with them to build a schedule that gives them what they need. By keeping the schedule simple and flexible, parents have the ability to set aside time for what matters most to our children, our values, and our interests.
Below is an example of a simple, flexible schedule:
- 8:00–9:00: Morning hellos, breakfast, personal hygiene
- 9:30 — noon: School lessons (math, language arts, foreign language)
- Noon — 1:00: Lunch and chat
- 1:00–3:00: Science and history
- Free time until evening (encourage creativity and play during this time)
- Bedtime: Shared reading or individual reading
Homeschooling has strengthened our parent-child bond. It took a period of trial and error, and I admit I did not feel this sense of confidence at first. But with time and patience, we found our stride. Homeschooling has helped me be a better parent while providing my daughter more freedom to explore and learn.
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This post was written for BookShark by Resa Brandenburg.
Resa, @a.musingmother, is a former teacher who is now passionate about unschooling her daughter. She lives with her husband in an old farmhouse by the river in Kentucky. Her favorite thing to do is spend the afternoon with her family, including her grown sons and two grandchildren. Her hobbies include traveling, reading, and quilting.
