My Own Private Weinstein (Part 31): The Condemnation

I was going back to my original topic today, the always pleasant issue of sexual harassment, when I decided to dwell just a little longer in equally ebullient issue of economic adversity. Specifically, jobs.

The word is enough to cause a physical reaction in me on par with PTSD. Sit me down in front of a computer to rewrite my resume for the ten-thousandth time, and count on waterworks. At any point during the day, I am likely to spiral into a depressive episode of pleading to an unseen entity for some reprieve from the torture of job-hunting. Begging to know why I can’t get a job, despite doing “everything right.” It was time to move on.

But, I felt myself reacting to a story about a former Cosby Show actor, Gregory Owens, who was the subject of shame and humiliation, for working in a Trader Joe’s. I won’t share the original link, because I don’t wish to promote the media outlet who would stoop so low as to shame a decent working man, but here is a related story, about the compassion of others, that I would like to share (https://www.vibe.com/2018/09/fans-defend-cosby-show-actor-geoffrey-owens-gig-at-trader-joes/).

There are so many things to unpack in my reaction to the story. The first is, fear. Granted, it’s a very self-involved perspective, and may not have been my first reaction, but it’s the first one that came to mind as I sat down to write. Fear is the basis of most human behavior, so it’s not unusual that it’s foremost in my mind. Fear is how I spend most of my day. Fear of what other people think. Fear of failure. Fear of dying. Fear in a million shapes and shades. I read this story and I reacted with fear.

I’m looking for a job and I know I will be judged just as this man is being judged. On the basis of a preconceived, elitist notion of success. Others don’t see this man and honest and hard-working. Qualities any employer should value and search out in perspective employees. Instead, they see a man who used to have a more successful career being “reduced” to working in a grocery store. Something must be “wrong” with him. For this reason alone, many will not hire him. Although, being an actor, this is generally less of an issue than for corporate types like me, I have bumped up against this constantly as I have searched for a job.

“What have you done lately?” is ever-present in job hunting. I have to keep creatively engineering my work history to suit some impossible standard imposed, yet unspoken, by prospective employers. And, no matter what I say or do, I can’t win. One day, I’ll talk about the hoops I have crawled through to get a job, but for now, back to the main topic. (I have difficulty staying focused these days — a symptom of job anxiety.)

In addition to fear, I see privilege coupled with cruelty. Those who are advantaged with jobs, families, support, luck, looking down on those who are less fortunate. Alas, this is human nature and railing against it is like trying to spin the world on a different axis. But, the fact that this type of cruelty has gotten so much worse lately, only makes the original problem worse.

The irony is, the privileged and advantaged seldom have as strong a work ethic as those who have been forced to cope with economic adversity. If employers really want to hire the “best” people, they should seek out those who have worked in “transitional” jobs during breaks in their chosen careers. The ability to accept a job, no matter how menial, and to perform the required tasks with a diligence equal to a more prestigious role, demonstrates strength of character few possess.

Now that I’m in the transitional phase of my formerly illustrious career, I wonder, How can I recover? How can I ever hope to find another decent job when I’m trapped in this downward spiral of judgement and condemnation? How can I compete when hard work and humility are not qualities to be admired, but weapons to destroy you with?

The upside to this story is, there are people who recognize the truth and who have rallied to Mr. Owen’s defense. There are even those in powerful positions who may offer him an opportunity to perform as an actor. And I would be happy if some good would come from this. But, for me, there will be no public shaming that leads to bigger prospects. No one will post my photo with the caption, “Executive who once earned six-figures now driving for PostMates.” No one will take mercy on me, hiring me for a job based on my 100-hour a week work ethic, unbridled honesty, unflinching loyalty or dogged diligence. They will only stand in judgement of me for not already having the perfect job in a broken economy. They play to my biggest fear, that one day, I will be back out on the streets, homeless and alone. And, that I will eventually die there.

End of Part 31

Continue to Part 32: (coming soon)

Start with Part 1

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Committed to empowering women who are forced deal with harassment both in the workplace and elsewhere.