Why I Will Never Grow Up

I often get a variation of these questions: “When are you gonna grow up?” or “When are you gonna start living a normal life?” My answer is usually along these lines: “I don’t know if I’ll EVER grow up, but I’m sure as hell LIVING my life.”

I saw a friend of mine, Nando Bateman, write these inspiring words on his Facebook page, and I had to write a post about it. It is so common for people to judge each other’s lifestyle. I do it all the time, as I judge those who live a ‘normal’ 9–5 life and aren’t looking for more. I know people judge Thenix and I who are living a minimalist life with less so we can bring more travel, love, life, and adventure into it. But this post isn’t going to be about judgement. I want to talk about growing up. Growing up is for suckers. Why is everyone so adamant on growing up? It makes sense for a ten-year old to want to grow up as they are under everyone’s thumbs. But why as an adult?

Haven’t all the adults realized that growing up sucks. It is an absolute trap set up by everyone around you; media, advertising, society, parents, and other grownups for whom it is too late. What does growing up entail? As my favourite Escapologist, Robert Wringham put it, “And it’s kind of masochistic isn’t it? I don’t see how anyone can be satisfied as an employee, waiting on pay cheques and humouring idiot managers, and bookending the day by sitting in cramped, leaky buses full of sad lottery players with the sniffles.” This is about being an employee, but it could truly be applied to being an adult.

It is about doing things that are unpalatable, and dispassionate. It is about doing the ‘adult’ thing by giving up the things you are interested in, the things you care about, the things you are passionate about. Do you really believe that living a mediocre life is what you were put on this planet for? Do you really believe that you are doing anyone good, by not living the best life that you were meant to live? Everyone has a talent that they are bringing into the global mix. If you give up your talent, and start doing adult things, then there goes the global mix – that piece of the puzzle that you were supposed to be taking care of, is now sitting empty. You aren’t doing what you were supposed to be doing and now the whole world is going to hell in a basket.

Isn’t it true though? Doesn’t the world seem to be going in a worse direction when everyone is being a good, little adult? I find that the world seems a better place when I am surrounded by people who are living their passion-filled life. But it seems a worse place when I observe people who only care about the adult things, money, stuff, and fame.

Growing up seems to be about going to school, getting good grades, getting into university, getting a good job, getting married, having children, and retiring at 65. If you are a ‘good’ adult, if you are a grown up, you are checking off the items on this list one-by-one and getting commendations for it.

But if you are like our friend, Nando, you are quitting your job, travelling around Asia, getting married to a beautiful rocker-chick Londonite, travelling around some more, and doing it all with a smile on his face. What isn’t grown up about travelling and doing it without harming the world around you? What isn’t grown up about loving someone completely and making a life with them wherever it might entail? What isn’t grown up about wanting to live every moment to the fullest? What isn’t grown up about wanting to make an income without putting more money into the pockets of someone else, especially a big, bad conglomerate?

I find the distinction confusing. To those who wish to grow up, please do so. Your growing up is necessary to the fabric of normal, everyday society. But please do not try to pull us down with you. Let us live in Never-never land. Let us be the Peter Pans of our generation. Let us escape into an ‘unreal’ world. You do your thing and let us do ours.

Be vigilant and honour yourself and your passions. And don’t grow up! It is a trap.