The Triple Dog Dare Foreign Policy

So far, the “You better not do that! This time I mean it!” approach to nations who tend to fly the One-Fingered Bird of Defiance in the face of the western world doesn’t appear to be working.

“If you use nerve agents on children, you’re really gonna get it!”

With scientific technology where it is today, I’ll bet nerve agents could be designed to kill instantly, but they’re not. They are engineered to not only kill the body, but to extinguish the desire to continue the fight via horrible pain and suffering.

“Don’t make me spank you! If I count to three and you still have that thermal nuclear warhead aimed at the western seaboard of the United States, I’m going to blister your bottom!”

The same ineffective methods of parenting that have given rise to a generation of ‘Murcans who faint in the presence of opposing views and stomp their feet and hold their breath when the democratic process doesn’t produce the outcome they desire, has, also, failed to deter maniacal dictators and fanatical theocracies from committing mass murder. Surprise, surprise.

“Knock this pebble off my shoulder and see what happens.”

Tornadoes don’t just drop out of the sky on a sunny day, a few clouds show up first. It’s been clouding up for some time.

I’ll bet that Japan is starting to wonder why every time someone wants to pop a nuke in anger, they make the short list. They’re hoping the Jews draw the short straw again.

Thank God, we have the ability to manufacture less stressful political outrages than genocide and radioactive wastelands. If Melania doesn’t move to D.C. soon, we must begin impeachment proceedings.

The Devil doesn’t always carry golf clubs. Sometimes, he has kick-ass hair.