How to Cope With Turbulence

My Descent into Mad Zen-ness

photo credit Ruth Canton

I was strapped tightly into my seat breathing the recycled farts of fellow travelers while the plane bobbed tempestuously on a rough-weather descent into Salt Lake City. My stomach churned angrily as a nausea headache beat violently just behind my eyes.

I slowly checked the seat-back pocket for a reciprocal to puke in but only found a wrinkled dogeared Skymall. I made contingency plans — irrational contingency plans —horrible secret contingency plans to throw up in the corner. A heavy chop of turbulence forced a quiet grunt out of me.

As my thoughts cascaded from the anxious to the morbid, we jerked as the tires met the ground and the plane slowed itself on the runway in a dissipating whine. I burped, slowly and deeply. Instant relief.

Sometimes when you’re trying to get somewhere, you grow tired of the people around you, life starts giving you a rather hard shaking, and you search the back-seat pockets of life for relief or at least a stopgap but all you find in those places is over-worn commercialism.

It’s hard not to let your mind go adrift in nightmares when this happens — pinging from worst case scenarios to the seemingly slightly worse than worst case scenarios. But really all you need is one good strong eructation. Then you’re right as rain and back on track. So find something pent up in you today, and let it go.

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