He touched me…hard

Bunmi Idowu
Jul 22, 2017 · 3 min read

And my face got bruised.

He was sorry,

It was just a little touch.

I bruise easily.. he said

His touch wasn’t the same soft, sweet and sensual touch I remember.

It felt like it forgot how to be on me.

It was forceful.

It hurt.

My skin was not used to this…

…but he was sorry anyway.

I know and I love him.

I tried to change the cause of this new touch.

…not to feel that kind of touch again.

I changed.

He touched me again…

Harder..

I didn’t know what caused his new interest in touching me …hard

I stopped arguing..

He touched me. Softer this time…

..and I liked it.

I enjoyed it.

We smiled at each other..

..now..more often.

And then his phone rang…and I touched it.

He touched me hard.

Why?

..What did I do?”

He walked out.

...he came back. He was sorry.

I know he was cos he cried and held me tight, asking forgiveness.

I love him. Of course I forgive him.

I love him so much.

I was sorry. I shouldn’t have touched the phone. His phone was his business.

My phone rang.

My male friend called. I smiled as I talked…after I ended the call, he touched me hard..

Then I knew it was never going to end

I remember the day I accepted the ring and today I regret the night I put the ring on.

The touch was the new thing.

It was the in-thing.

I walked on egg shells around him.

I smiled when he smiled. He loved me and I love him.

I had a curfew.7pm On lucky days.

I missed my friends.

My friends missed me.

He could go out whenever..

..I couldn’t

Cos he loves me too much he said.

●[“Honey, I don’t like the way men look at you.

Honey, you don’t have to go out. If your friend wants to see you, let her come.”]●

He continued the hard touch.

Until one day, I couldn’t feel the touch again. This wasn’t the hardest I had felt, but this brought an end to the feelings.

I could hear his voice, I could see him cry…

…I was helpless. I wish I could tell him not to cry, that I was Okay, that it would only be for a while I would feel this numbness.

.I wanted to open my mouth, show him I still had the strength to feel, but I couldn’t.

I didn’t have the strength to.

My weakness had let me down. I could see him crying.

I could hear his wails.

My eyes rolled in.

My body was shutting down. I didn’t want to let him down, but my body was letting me down.

His cries got lower.

Everything almost stopped working, until everything stopped. 😢

Nothing else.

Did I die?

After death, you don’t feel anything again.

#Violence

#SayNoToViolence #DomesticViolence

Bunmi Idowu

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