Top 10 Snake Rings You Can Buy on Etsy that are Cheaper and Almost Definitely Better Quality than Taylor Swift’s Shit Merchandise
In a surprise to nobody, Taylor Swift turns (even more) capitalist
Okay. First things first. This isn’t really a listicle as much as it is a petty jab at Taylor Swift. And not for the usual reasons people make petty jabs at Taylor Swift for, either.
1So of course Taylor’s new album was just announced. It had a cool music video, and some people like the song, and as it is with the music industry, Taylor’s going on tour. But here’s the thing with that tour: Taylor (or at least her agent) has introduced new method to try to get tickets before they sell out. Dubbed “Taylor Swift Tix”, it’s a glorified way of leeching more money of of Taylor Swift fans. To quote actual entertainment publication Insider’s article on the topic:
On Swift’s site, fans can collect and “boost” their points by watching the singer’s music video, signing up for her email list, or by purchasing her album or merchandise.
You can get points for buying up to 13 copies of her album (out on November 10) and for buying her merchandise. And the merch is expensive. She’s selling $50 T-shirts as well as $60 snake signet rings, like the ones she wears in the “Look What You Made Me Do” music video.
Getting a lot of points still doesn’t guarantee getting tickets. It just means that you have a higher chance of being able to purchase them when they go on sale.
So, yeah. Taylor is essentially holding the CHANCE of buying one of her concert tickets hostage, in exchange for you buying her overpriced merchandise and albums. This is fucked up for a lot of reasons. It’s pay-to-win, meaning that fans who can barely even afford the ticket itself are totally screwed. It’s exploitative and engineered towards draining every penny she can from her genuinely loving and adoring fans. And above all, it’s just a shit business move because if you set up exploitative pay-to-win systems that function at the detriment of your fans, they’ll soon enough stop wanting to give you their money in the first place.
What really frustrated me is the extreme level the merch was overpriced at. Seriously? Sixty dollars for a gilded zircon ring? I’m no jeweller, but that sounds like something I could get a better version of on Etsy for pretty cheap. In fact, I looked on Etsy and found ten neat-looking snake rings that are less than $60. Granted, they aren’t all as excessively bling-y as the Taylor Swift one, but seeing as her snake ring is already sold out, migh as well find something else, yeah? In any case, introducing:
Since this piece isn’t exactly the most serious, my only criteria are that the rings need to A. look cool, and B. be less than sixty dollars. The rings aren’t actually in any particular order, and I don’t actually know how good any of them really are since I don’t have the time or money to buy ten snake rings for the sake of a petty Medium article, but here you go:
The swirling, coiling design of this snake looks really neat. The description promises various health benefits from having jewelry made of bronze, but those honestly pale in comparison to the fact that you get to wear a really cool-looking snake on your finger.
2. “Sterling Silver or Gold Snake Ring” by ArcanumDesigns, $39.00
This is definitely the most expensive of the set, ranging from $39 for a sterling silver snake to over $1,800 for a platinum one. But the cheapest version is still under $60, so I’m putting it on here. The ribbing on the snake looks really nice and its head has a great texture.
Another from WitchJewelryShop. It’s a much more direct coiling design and it might be a bit more comfortable to wear. I don’t know. I don’t really like it being called “tribal jewelry” just because it’s trying to use foreign mysticism to sell itself, but it still looks nice. The maker apparently lives in Latvia so I’m not really gonna blame them that much.
4. “Bronze Snake Ring. Natural Bronze. Bronze Ring. Bronze Snake. Snake Ring. Natural Bronze Snake. Antique Bronze. Oxidized Bronze. 233” by OxidizedSurprise, $13.63
This is on the simpler side but the shape is a lot more similar to Taylor’s rings. It doesn’t have the zircon crystals, but it still looks really nice and neat and honestly just isn’t as garish. Plus it’s less than a quarter of the price of Taylor’s so that’s something it has going for it.
5. “Snake Ring Handmade Sterling Silver Animal Ring Unique Handcrafted Jewelry” by UniqueHistoryShop, $19.00
Here’s another sterling silver ring, this time for a third of the price of Taylor’s. It honestly just looks so much better, with the scales looking really neat and natural.
6. “Gothic Ring Swarovski Ring Snake Ring Silver Unisex Ring Adjustable Ring Gothic Jewelry” by ApplebiteJewelry, $22.26
Okay, I think this is definitely the coolest out of all the rings here. If I had to buy a ring from these (and I think I honestly might), this might be the one. The multi-colored gem with the snakes swirling around it just looks so awesome.
Here’s the only vintage ring on the list, and so it might not be available in all sizes. It ships from France and says it has a “native american turquoise”, so I hope that’s not just native mysticism for selling. It definitely looks neat.
8. “Snake Ring / snake jewelry, reptile jewelry, adjustable snake ring, open snake ring, minimalist ring / R0–27” by GoldenReeds, $8.99
If you’re shopping on a budget, this is definitely the one. It’s the cheapest in the list, and it comes in both silver and gold. The rings are brass with silver or gold plating, so as long as you don’t rough them up too much they should stay looking nice. They’re simplistic but still pretty cool.
Surprisingly the only ouroboros ring in the list. No idea what it means by “Ouroboros Charm Holder”, but that’s a thing it’s called I guess. It seems like it’d be big enough to notice but small enough that it wouldn’t be annoying.
10. “ON SALE Snake ring in sterling silver” by Billyrebs, $21.25
Lastly, there’s another sterling silver snake that’s shaped kind of like Taylors, but is again much cheaper. According to the on sale banner stuck on the photo, it’s regularly priced around $25 but is a bit cheaper right now. It definitely looks nice and like it’d be a fun ring to have.
Again, this list isn’t really the serious part of the article. While all these rings are definitely cool, the main takeaway has to be much more about why Taylor did this in the first place. While TicketMaster, the company Taylor is working with for her concert tickets, is insisting that the Taylor Swift Tix program is to beat the bots used by scalpers, that could just as easily be done by a captcha on the purchase page. No, Taylor did this because she knew her fans would buy into it hard, and she’d get even more money. And indeed, seeing as all the snake rings are, after four days, already sold out (though this could just as much be artificial demand via supply-fixing), it seems like it’s working. We have to become better consumers than this. If any sort of media you enjoy, be it music, movies, games, anything, starts trying to gouge out your wallet like this, stop giving them any money. Don’t buy their albums, their tickets, anything. It isn’t worth it to keep encouraging them. By buying into it, you’re telling them that their gouging works, and they’ll try gouging you out even more next time. You need to stop it here before they can get to that next step. Just calling a content publisher out on their greedy, capitalistic bullshit isn’t enough. That won’t work, and as long as accumulation of wealth is valued, it will never work. You have to actively take away their source of income by not paying them for trying to take more of your money. If direct, aggressive action is taken, we can stop this bullshit before anyone else tries to take it for a spin.