How Important Is Sex in a Relationship for a Man?

Eloise Bouton
9 min readMay 27, 2024

It’s pretty much an open secret that men and women often have different views on sex within a relationship. It’s like the classic tale: women typically crave emotional connection and intimacy, while men can have a more straightforward approach, focusing more on the physical aspect.

But the real question isn’t just about how important sex is to men overall. It’s more about how they view its importance in the context of a committed, loving relationship.

How Important Is Sex in a Relationship for a Man?

Benefits of Having a Sexual Satisfaction in Relationships

There are loads of perks to having sex in a relationship, and they’re not just about pleasure. Honestly, it can do wonders for both your body and mind. Here are some of the big wins: it can dial down your anxiety, help you bounce back after a spat, reduce physical pain, deepen intimacy, improve your sleep, and even lower your blood pressure.

And when the sex is really satisfying? The benefits keep stacking up. We’re talking increased trust between you and your partner, some serious emotional healing, and a bigger desire to keep the good times rolling. It also helps you get to know both yourself and your partner better, boosts your self-esteem and confidence, sharpens your brain, and gives you this cozy sense of security in your relationship. Who knew the bedroom could be such a health booster, right?

How Important Is Sex in a Relationship for a Man?

Do Men Like What Their Women Initiate Sex?

Yes, indeed. Men deeply value feeling desired by their female partners.

For men, receiving compliments, playful flirting, and sexual advances from their partners is really valuable. Yet, unfortunately, many men feel that their partners may not realize the importance of sex.

And what emotional impact does it have on a man if he initiates sex and is turned down?

These were moments of vulnerability for them: men approach their partner with the hope of closeness and affirmation, wanting to feel that their desire is reciprocated. A rejection, therefore, feels like a personal denial, impacting more than just their physical desires — it can also cause healthy relationship man and woman had because satisfying sex life is as crucial as emotional intimacy.

Surely, this isn’t about obliging women to consent every time because you need to have sex as often as you feel the desire for it. However, kindness in communication matters. If you’re not in the mood, perhaps due to a tiring day, you should explain that the rejection isn’t personal. Instead, you can offer an alternative like cuddling.

How Much Sex Should You Have with a Man & How Important is Sex?

Less sex doesn’t always mean less GOOD sex. Yet, a healthy sex life needs to include the frequency of sex you and your partner want to have.

I got inturduced to one sex therapist, and this is what he told on this matter:

Initially, you should dentify the commonalities and differences in our expectations about the frequency of sexual activities between you and your partner. What does “enough sex” mean for you and your man? Why do you think that your perception of sexual relationship is “right”? Is it a genuine desire for more or less intimacy, or are external societal expectations influencing you?

When you think of sex, you also should consider preferred timing, which can also play a role. Perhaps you are more energized in the mornings, while your partner feels more amorous at night. Understanding these patterns can help us find a compromise and improve your sex life.

If you want to make sex with your partner more quality, you also need to explore the types of desire you both have. For instance, you might be interested in certain kinks that your partner isn’t, or vice versa.


Benefits of Sex: Sex Is Important for Men — But How Exactly?

  • Sex is about body, not emptions, first.

For men, the desire for sex often starts with a physical sensation. The testosterone that flows through body not only fuels sexual drive but also influences reactions and feelings. Even a simple visual cue, like seeing a partner fresh from the shower, can trigger a strong physical response.

  • For men, sex is like a hunger.

Indeed, men feel a deep craving for sexual intimacy, similar to a yearning for chocolates. Each intimate encounter is like sometimes smooth and creamy, other times rich or with a hint of bittersweet.

  • Sex gives men energy.

For men, a sexual energy they receive when being close their women, drives them towards personal and professional achievements. It propels them through the monotony of daily life, since they are ctually motivated by the prospect of a sexual reward after a challenging day.

  • Sex is a love language for men.

Sexual intimacy is not just about physical release; it feels like coming home for men. It’s a manifestation of love and care, offering comfort against the world’s challenges.

  • Sex Boosts Men’s Ego

The male ego can be intricately connected to sexual relations. The role of sex in a marital relationship is pivotal, as the ability to satisfy one’s partner sexually can significantly bolster a man’s self-esteem.

Sexual intimacy often holds considerable importance because it is closely linked to a man’s sense of self-worth and motivation. The desire to please his partner and the sensitivity to how she perceives their intimate life can deeply affect him. If issues arise in the bedroom, it’s crucial to address them thoughtfully — communicating in a way that is considerate of his feelings. Men value honesty and open dialogue, so discussing intimacy issues with sensitivity can strengthen the relationship and nurture mutual understanding.

how important is sex to a man in a relationship

Importance of Sex: Can a Sex Life with Your Partner Improve Physical Health?

Actually, sex can safeguard your cardiovascular health. A 2015 study published in the American Journal of Cardiology revealed that men who had sex twice a week or more were less likely to experience cardiovascular events like strokes or heart attacks compared to those who had sex once a month or less.

Additionally, frequent ejaculation might lower the risk of prostate cancer. Research, including a 2016 study in European Urology, suggests that men who ejaculate more than 21 times per month may have a 20% lower risk of developing prostate cancer compared to those who ejaculate four to seven times a month. While this association needs further verification, it indicates that higher frequencies of ejaculation could be beneficial.

And, sex may improve sleep. A 2019 study noted that orgasms release hormones like prolactin and oxytocin while inhibiting cortisol, creating a blend that promotes sleepiness and relaxation.

Testosterone and Low Libido in Men

Testosterone is a hormone that plays a pivotal role in sexual desire, along with influencing various other body functions. It is primarily produced in the testicles and is integral to:

- Developing male sex organs

- Growing body hair

- Increasing bone mass and muscle development

- Deepening the voice during puberty

- Producing sperm

- Generating red blood cells

Low levels of testosterone often correlate with a reduced libido. Testosterone levels are naturally higher in the morning and taper off towards the evening. Typically, a man’s testosterone peaks in his late teens and gradually declines thereafter.

Regarding sex drive, it’s natural for it to decrease with age. However, sometimes a loss of libido is linked to an underlying issue. Factors that can diminish sex drive include:

  • Stress or depression: Mental health struggles can severely impact libido. Seeking help from a doctor is crucial; they might recommend medication or psychotherapy.
  • Endocrine disorders: These can reduce male sex hormones, impacting sexual desire.
  • Certain medications: Some drugs, including antidepressants, antihistamines, and blood pressure medications, may impair sexual function. Consulting with a doctor about possible alternatives is advisable.
  • High blood pressure and diabetes: Both conditions can damage the vascular system, which is crucial for maintaining an erection.

Ways to Get Relationship Satisfaction without Intimacy

Couples can foster a robust and healthy relationship by exploring avenues of intimacy that do not involve sexual activity. Consider the following strategies to enhance your connection:

  • Share a cuddle while enjoying a movie or relaxing in a park.
  • Engage in mutually enjoyed activities, such as dancing.
  • Offer frequent hugs and kisses to convey affection.
  • Hold hands while strolling together.
  • Dedicate time to meaningful conversations with each other.

These simple yet profound gestures can significantly deepen intimacy in a relationship.

Sexless Life and Cheating

A common assumption in relationships is that a high amount of sex safeguards against infidelity. This belief, however, oversimplifies the complexities of human sexual behavior and relationship dynamics. While a decline in sexual intimacy is often cited as a potential indicator of cheating, the opposite scenario — where a partner suddenly exhibits a heightened sexual interest — can also be a cause for concern.

Contrary to popular belief, increased sexual activity in a relationship does not always correlate with increased relationship security. In fact, individuals who begin extramarital affairs might experience a surge in their overall sexual desire, including towards their primary partner. This phenomenon can be attributed to a variety of psychological and biological factors.

What Are the Cues that a Man Wants More Sex in a Relationship?

  1. Flirtatious Comments: Increased flirtation or sexual innuendos can be a sign he’s interested in being more intimate.
  2. Discussions about Fantasies: Sharing sexual fantasies or desires can be a way of hinting at wanting more varied or frequent sexual encounters.
  3. Increased Physical Touch: More frequent touching, kissing, hugging, or cuddling can indicate a desire for greater intimacy.
  4. Initiating More Often: A noticeable increase in how often he initiates sexual encounters or romantic situations can suggest he wants more sex.
  5. Romantic Gestures: Organizing romantic dates or creating intimate settings can be a sign of wanting to foster a sexual connection.
  6. Attentiveness: He might pay more attention to his appearance, your preferences, or the ambiance to create a more appealing sexual environment.
  7. Availability: Making more time for privacy or ensuring you both have uninterrupted time together can be a sign of wanting to increase intimacy.
  8. Expressing Jealousy or Concern: Sometimes, expressing concerns about the relationship or subtle jealousy can be a reflection of insecurities or desires related to sexual intimacy.
  9. Openness and Vulnerability: Sharing deeper emotions and thoughts can be a way to foster closeness, potentially as a precursor to more physical intimacy.
  10. Mood Fluctuations: Changes in mood, especially related to situations involving intimacy or the lack thereof, can indicate dissatisfaction with the current sexual dynamics.

Final Thoughts

In summary, it becomes clear that sexual intimacy holds significant importance for men within a relationship.

They perceive it as a fundamental aspect of their partnership, serving both to fortify the bond and maintain closeness. Contrary to common misconceptions, men are not solely focused on their own satisfaction during intimate moments. They value affirmation and enjoy the experience, but they are also committed to actively contributing to their partner’s pleasure.

Recognizing the critical role of sex in a relationship, men are often willing to make compromises and put in extra effort to ensure a fulfilling and harmonious sexual dynamic. This readiness to adapt and enhance the sexual relationship underscores their dedication to both their partner’s happiness and the overall health of the partnership.

A Perk for Ladies Who Read Till the End …


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Eloise Bouton

Éloïse Bouton is a French journalist, feminist activist, and former member of the Femen group. Read More: