How to Find a Good Man? Where a Great Guy Can Hide

Eloise Bouton
9 min readMay 27, 2024

Dating sometimes feels like a parade of Mr. Wrongs, making it easy to think all the good guys are already taken. But, trust me, there are plenty of awesome men out there who are also looking for love. To boost your odds of finding Mr. Right, make sure you’re putting yourself out there and meeting new people. And while you’re at it, focus on living a fun and fulfilling life — it makes you shine. Now, let’s talk about methods of finding a soulmate, and why is it hard to find a good man nowadays.

How to Find a Good Man

Firstly, Why It May Be Hard to Find a Good Man For You Specifically?

Seriously, why is it so tough to find a good partner these days? It feels like every time you jump onto dating apps, all the decent guys are either hiding or extinct.

Here’s a little breakdown of what might be going wrong when you fail to meet a potential partner.

1. The Type Trap: I get it, we all have our types of men. It’s okay to have standards, but maybe being open to different traits could change our luck.

2. Too Much Too Fast: Here’s a truth bomb — desperation isn’t cute when you want to attract a good match. Quality guys don’t want someone who isn’t picky about who they date, and honestly, neither would we, right?

3. Out of Your League: But let’s be real — shooting for the stars in dating, even if it’s a man of your dreams, might mean missing out on someone genuinely compatible. We all want the cream of the crop, but a dose of realism can be healthy too.

4. Diva Demands: Expecting to be treated well is non-negotiable, but expecting a parade in your honor each date? That might be why, when searching for a good man, some promising starts fizzle out. Keeping things real helps both sides figure out if there’s something genuine.

5. Bad Company: Ever hear the saying about birds of a feather? Well, if your circle has more drama than a soap opera, it might be time to branch out. Sometimes, to find good men, means surrounding yourself with the right crowd.

6. Man-Hating Vibes: Chances of finding a good man are falling if deep down, you’re not favourable of them (I’m not talking about hidden sexuality). Men can sense negativity just like we can. Sometimes taking a break to reset your perspective is all you need.

7. Shy Guy Syndrome: It’s tough making the first move, but many men are just as nervous as we are. Sometimes, stepping up and asking them out can lead to wonderful things and help you meet someone truly good.

8. Check Yourself: Ever feel like you’re missing a social cue or two? Developing better social skills and self-awareness can make a world of difference in both offline and online dating.

9. Personal Tune-Up: We all have things we can work on. For me, it’s about toning down my sass and working on those love handles. Improving ourselves can boost our appeal and our confidence.

How to Find a Good Man

How Modern Dating Has Complicated a Search of a Romantic Partner?

Firstly, these days, it feels like the excitement for marriage is at an all-time low. It’s like more and more people are just not into the idea anymore. And the stats back it up — marriage rates are dropping because fewer people are tying the knot.

And it’s not just marriage; commitment itself is becoming a rare commodity. It’s tough when you’re looking for someone who matches your dreams, but then it turns out they’re not into the whole ‘let’s make it official’ vibe. It leaves you hanging and wondering, ‘Why is it so hard to find someone who’s all in?’

Then, there’s the money aspect. It’s no secret that financial stability can make or break the commitment deal. When guys are worried more about their wallets, being in a serious relationship often takes a back seat.

And don’t get me started on technology. It’s like we’re more connected than ever but also more isolated. We spend more time glued to our screens than actually connecting with people face-to-face. This digital gap makes it harder to build real, lasting connections — it’s a whole new world of communication barriers.

Looking for a Man with a Kind Soul? Here are 10 Methods to Meet Him

Searching for a good man can sometimes feel like looking for a needle in a haystack — he is harder to find, but it’s definitely possible with the right strategies. Here are 10 ways to increase your chances of finding a good man:

  • Expand Your Social Circle to Meet Men

Try to meet new people through friends and family. They know you well and might have someone perfect in mind who shares your values and interests.

  • Pursue Your Interests

What you want in a man, you should seek in yourself. Join clubs or groups that align with your hobbies. Whether it’s a book club, cooking class, or a sports team, you’ll meet people with similar interests. Also, it will help you find a guy who’s interested in the same things as you.

  • Volunteer

A typical man doesn’t do this type of stuff, but a good man does! Giving your time to a cause can connect you with compassionate individuals who are likely to have a good heart.

  • Attend Community Events

Good man is hard to find offline? Then, you haven’t tried going to community gatherings, local festivals, or charity events. These can be great places to meet someone who shares your sense of community and altruism.

  • Try Online Dating

If for you, it’s hard to find a man offline, try to meet a guy virtually. While it can be a mixed bag, online dating sites, like Tinder or Bumble, gives you access to a larger pool of potential matches. Be honest in your profile about what you’re looking for.

  • Go to Places with a Positive Environment

Frequent coffee shops, libraries, or gyms where people are relaxed and not in a rush. These settings make starting a conversation easier and more natural.

  • Stay Open to Casual Meetings

Sometimes, a random encounter at a store or while walking the dog can lead to meaningful connections. Be open to talking to strangers in safe environments.

  • Attend Workshops or Seminars

Educational events can help you meet people who are interested in self-improvement and personal growth, which are qualities of a good partner.

  • Travel

Whether it’s a solo trip or a group travel event, seeing new places can expand your horizons and introduce you to a man who shares your adventurous lifestyle.

  • Be Active on Social Media

If you’re going to look for a good man online, don’t forget about your social media pages. Follow local groups or pages that interest you. Engaging in online communities can lead to offline meetups and connections.

Top Site to Meet a Good Man

Top Site to Meet a Good Man

If you’re on the hunt for a good man, you might just find your next great connection on YouMeTalks. Heralded by many as one of the best dating sites for meeting genuine, quality partners, YouMeTalks stands out from the crowd with its unique approach to fostering deep, meaningful relationships:

  • detailed profiles
  • interest-based matching algorithms
  • a user-friendly interface and a supportive community environment
  • enhanced communication features

These are the features which make YouMeTalks an excellent choice for anyone serious about finding a good man and cultivating a relationship that goes beyond the basics. Whether you’re new to online dating or a seasoned pro, YouMeTalks offers a refreshing and effective way to meet that special someone.


Traits of a Good Man

1. He can have fun: Ever heard that laughter is the best medicine? Well, it turns out it’s good for relationships too. Finding someone who makes you giggle is key. Even if it’s just his eye-rolling dad jokes, if you’re laughing, that’s what counts. Apparently, funny guys are often better at wooing their partners.

2. He supports your career: There was this study that found a lot of women end up quitting their jobs because of their husbands, who wouldn’t adjust their own schedules or help more at home. It’s crucial to be with someone who truly backs your career moves.

3. He values your friends and family: It’s way too easy to get wrapped up in your partner’s world. A recent study showed guys often prefer their bromances over romances. Crazy, right? Make sure he’s keen on spending time with your friends and family just like you do with his.

4. He is emotionally savvy: Forget the stereotypes — both partners need emotional intelligence. Research shows women are usually better at considering their partner’s perspective, but it’s a two-way street.

5. He respects your opinion: It’s a red flag if a guy never considers your viewpoints or always needs to be right. A good woman like you need a respectful man; if a man outright rejects his partner’s influence, it might be a power struggle more than anything else.

6. He is willing to work for a relationship: The secret to a lasting relationship isn’t compatibility but effort. It’s all about really committing to make things work, rather than looking for the next best thing. A good guy will always have a way to find a compromise with you.

7. He cheers you on: Whether it’s celebrating a new personal best at the gym or you finally nailing some German phrases, having a partner who celebrates your wins with you is key.

Top Site to Meet a Good Man

How to Know that a Man Only Pretends to Be Good?

Every dating coach will say it: some women and men just don’t understand the role of kindness and only pretend to be good. You can try to understand such people, but you are not obliged to endure their behavior. But what if you don’t know whether the guy’s genuinely good or simply plays such a role?

Firstly, such a fake man is inconsistent. I knew someone who flipped between super friendly and cold and distant. Initially, I brushed it off as mood swings, but then I saw a pattern. They were all smiles when it served them or in public, but completely different in private. Genuine people don’t switch up based on the situation; their authenticity is constant.

Secondly, they make promises very fast. Ever met someone who’s quick to promise the moon? Those who make promises easily often don’t follow through. They say what sounds good at the moment to look reliable. However, men e who truly mean what they say think carefully before making commitments because they intend to keep them.

Thirdly, not a good man will never admit fault. We all mess up, but acknowledging our mistakes is key. I remember a coworker, Tom, who would always find someone else to blame. When he missed a big deadline, instead of owning up, he blamed it on everyone but himself. Genuine people, however, are accountable for their actions.

Then, he is obsessed with his image. We all care about our appearances to some extent, but for some, it’s all about maintaining a perfect facade. Such men might obsess over how they look, manage their social media meticulously, or always steer conversations to highlight their successes. Genuine people focus more on being true to themselves than how they appear to others.

And lastly, they forget about boundaries. Genuine men respect your personal space, your time, and your boundaries. Those who aren’t genuine might push past these boundaries without concern, focusing solely on what they want or need without considering your comfort.


Finding a good man is less about scouring the earth for hidden gems and more about setting the right conditions to meet compatible individuals who share your values and interests.

By expanding your social networks, engaging in activities you love, and just being open tp the world, you can upgrade your chances of meeting someone truly special.

Stay true to yourself, maintain your standards, and don’t rush the process — good things come to those who wait and are willing to put in the effort to build a meaningful connection.

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Eloise Bouton

Éloïse Bouton is a French journalist, feminist activist, and former member of the Femen group. Read More: