There are two types of triggers, according to Nir Eyal: external and internal. An external trigger is typically some piece of marketing or cue to remind someone to do a particular action. These are seen as emails, push notifications, signs, etc. Unfortunately, external triggers often don’t work unless it can be connected with an internal trigger. (For example: I get a notification from Facebook on my phone, I realise that I’m bored, so I open Facebook; I see the powerful McDonald’s Golden Arches, I realise I’m hungry, so I pull into a McDonald’s). Leveraging these internal triggers in association with external triggers can be very powerful, as long as one’s individual ability isn’t inhibited. To create new customers, great marketing campaigns will often focus on the feeling experienced when someone purchases a product, so that the potential internal trigger can be associated with the external trigger in the wild.
Let me explain. I think we get stuck sometimes because we keep trying to shove a cylinder peg into a square hole. Do things over and over again that don’t work or maybe isn’t meant to happen right now. And we just drain our energy and hope. Basically, we fight the universe. That being said, you have to truly be honest with yourself and know the difference between not “meant to happen right now” and being lazy or giving up. Let’s take me for example. I felt the most “nothing’s working” in my life at the tail end of my screenwriting career. I had been writing for nearly a decade. I was good enough to get representation, go on pitch meetings, sell a script, and get hired to write a show. But i just wasn’t meant to have a screenwriter career at that point in my life. I’m not saying “at that point in my life” because I want a screenwriting career now. I just know that anything is possible and life always has a funny way of coming back sometimes. So I don’t hold on to blueprints so tightly anymore. Anyway, I definitely wasn’t lazy. I wrote my ass off every single day for years. I put in the work. But the work is only part of the equation. There’s talent. There’s timing. There’s magical uncontrollably universe shit you are not aware of until you look back and make sense of your story. So for me, I realized I wasn’t happy and took a big step back. I’ll be honest. It was extremely difficult to give up on a dream. To think all those hours writing in coffee shops went to waste. But did they? Depends on what you choose to believe.
Transformational relationships, on the other hand, are completely focused on giving and gratitude — the hallmarks of abundance. In these relationships, the whole becomes more than the sum of parts. Both parties, in vulnerability and trust, transcend their own small-mindedness and become something more.