Raising a Better Future, Together
“Boys Will Be” was a little seed that grew as quickly as our human sprouts. Here we were, just a few Bay Area moms who were ready to raise feminist daughters, a little scared because we knew what we were up against, but ready. The world had a different plan. It gave us boys.
And you know what? It turns out it is just as complicated to raise boys. There are just as many parenting landmines to avoid and stereotypes bombarding these small humans from birth. This initiative started small, celebrate our boys being kids whatever that may look like and especially when it went against society’s expectations. Soon we realized, this was bigger than our boys. In the space of gender equality, parenting boys remains a small blip often only barely mentioned. It is time we had a space for these discussions, a forum that helped synthesize the mountains of parenting information that is out there, and the know how to equip us with the vocabulary and skill set to empower us to accomplish our goal to raise good humans.
…we not only have to celebrate all that our boys are and all that they can become, we also need to teach accountability and responsibility…
Our mission is to transform the “boys will be boys” mentality. We cannot hope to disrupt gender disparity and change the gender landscape if we only focus on half the population. Boys are so much more than the gender stereotypes our society puts on them — they are whole complete little people. Because no one said parenting is easy, we not only have to celebrate all that our boys are and all that they can become, we also need to teach accountability and responsibility, all while noticing and sidestepping everything standing in our way. While seemingly daunting, this commitment to our sons is of paramount importance. Doing so will benefit everyone. If we can dismantle our society’s attitudes around boyhood (and manhood), we can allow men to connect with their emotions and build important “soft skills” (emotional intelligence that enable someone to interact effectively and harmoniously with other people). This in turn can help our boys grow to live an authentic self, be more adept at handling their mental well-being, be better communicators, build strong relationships, and become kind and empathetic adults. Raising boys this way (to understand consent, empathy, care-taking, kindness, gentleness) creates men that are equal partners, involved fathers, and not just non-participants but warriors against rape culture. This is of course not nearly an exhaustive list though it is incredibly expansive in how many people it reaches and what societal ills it can help remedy.
Where this initiative will end up is in large part dependent on you, our community. What we do know is that it starts with expanding our vocabulary. It starts with shining a light on the obvious and subtle ways we place stereotypes on our sons. It starts with finding simple alternatives to the status quo, ways to start discussions on a micro level, and every day disruptions. It starts with a place for sharing our struggles and finding solutions from our fellow parents in arms. We are here to make this process a little easier, a whole lot more empowering, and most of all, less isolating.
Let’s raise a better future, together.
