Dialog #3. This Filipino American Life. -Joe-
This Filipino American Life is the first website I open when starting my research about the Filipino-American culture. I enter the website and I feelt I found exactly what I was looking for! I slowly scrolled down and read a few titles here and there, but my attention was caught by the podcasts, so I looked for the first one and press play.
The recording is fun, honest, and genuine so I decided to contact them and asking if I were able to get an interview. Joe replied: “I’ll be glad to answer any question you have.”
The phone was ringing and while waiting for an answer I realized it was my first phone interview; then joe picks up. His voice is calm and friendly, he is a 2nd generation of Filipino American, born in Los Angeles.
I questioned Joe about what challenges could be faced as Filipino American, and what consequences they bring with them. Through his words I understood how easy could be to get to a point of rejection. Filipinos speak english, but when accent, food, and habits are differing from the mass, people can become target of discrimination. This usually happens during middle school and high school, in communities with less diversity. During these years kids tried to define their cultural identities and rely on society’s guidelines to find it. In Joe’s experience the first reaction is to adapt by rejecting the attitudes and behaviors that make you different at other’s eyes. At this point the perception of the culture of origin is negative, and the subsequent actions you involve in are intended to make them look and behave like everybody else.
But time takes everything away with it, even the need to “fit in”. The circle of friends changes, and acceptance and love return as natural components in people’s lives. The fase of rejection passes and a new one starts. All the negative towards the cultural of origin could push people to abandon their cultures, but what at first was causing the problem, now becomes the solution.
Joe asked himself: “WHY AM I ASHMED OF HOW I GREW UP!?”
and he advices: “hold on to your Filipino side. If there is an availability to make filipino immigrant friends, do that. Don’t let the predominant culture prevent you from doing what you want.”
Joe described his challenges and hesitated when I asked if he had any advice for who might be dealing with a difficult situation right now. What he didn’t realize was that the description of the challenges already enclose the best advice of all. EMBRACING. However one of the words said the most during the conversation was Discrimination, the outcome was way much powerful. People can be discriminated for their accent, the clothes they are wearing, the food they are bringing to school; their culture could be rejected. But THAT culture, the culture that caused them to feel wrong, alone, left out, weird, is part of who they are. So EMBRACING it turned out to be the solution. Filipino-American culture comes directly from Filipino culture, that is strongly collectivistic. Since kids its member are taught to connect and rely on family and friends in a loving and caring way. Community is what immigrants seek when entering a new culture, therefore the main advice is to look for other Filipino-Americans. It would be easier this way to relate and interact on the same level.
In conclusion I hope that these three dialogs opened a door on the Filipino-American culture. There is no better way then listening to acknowledge and understand others. Also, if you want to know more check out This Filipino American Life website and podcast!
“Listen with curiosity. Speak with honesty. Act with integrity. The greatest problem with communication is we don’t listen to understand. We listen to reply. When we listen with curiosity, we don’t listen with the intent to reply. We listen for what’s behind the words.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart
