How do you use your voice?

Brittany Paul
Sep 7, 2018 · 4 min read

Can you imagine being a small helpless baby who doesn’t know right from wrong, clean from dirty, or what is a family? Imagine being born and taken home from a hospital to a drug-addicted family. Or even worse, being born and suffering the withdraw effects from drugs nearly immediately. The National Institute on Drug Abuse states that every 25 minutes a baby is born withdrawing from opiates. Heartbreaking. Child welfare is an issue that I am passionate about, protecting children and their foster families. Many people in the community have never been in the situation to understand what exactly happens with The Department of Children and Families, aka, Child Welfare. I am personally a foster parent, having been through it all first hand. I could very easily pass judgment on people “taking babies” from their families before my experience. Now, I have a new understanding and VOICE for these children. I only wish that so many others were willing to voice what is right and help these children who do not have a voice to help them.

Source: National Institute on Drug Abuse

I was an unrelated caregiver to a child from the time he was three days old to two years old. For two years I raised this sweet tiny baby as my own, with unconditional love and care. I attended court once a month, sometimes more, endless meetings and visitations with the biological parents. Which half the time, they did not show up or were in jail again and had no way of communicating to me. At two years old, I was finally granted permanent custody of this child, but not because it was what is right. Of course not, court and child welfare services do not work that way. They are for reuniting families no matter the cost, even if the cost is a child’s life. I cannot begin to tell you how many times I walked out of court being told, he is returning “home” next month, be prepared for the transition. Only for another incident to happen, an emergency court order, and he returned to our home, his home. Look at the recent example of Jordan Belliveau. A two-year-old boy who had been in foster care since he was an infant, fast forward 16 months and the courts order the child to return home regardless of the foster family warning the dangers he would be put into. Three months after he is returned, he is brutally murdered by his biological mother. What did this sweet boy do to deserve this?

Source: KMTV News

The system is broken, these children need our voices. They are young, sometimes broken from being put in unimaginable situations, and cannot speak for themselves. They are afraid, they are told they don’t have a say- their opinions are not wanted. They are too young, they do not know what is “best for them”. But a judge who sees these biological parents for 5 minutes once a month knows exactly what is best for them- reunification. I was fortunate enough to have a judge who listened, cared, and valued what foster parents say. With a battle, of course, I won my case and was able to protect one child. Think of the hundreds, maybe even thousands of children who are dead because they did not have the protection or voices they needed. Maybe their foster parents were unaware and did not have the resources available they needed to fight the state. We need to make a change for these children.

Source: Google images

Can you imagine going into a courtroom and not knowing if you will be going home to a clean, safe, stable, loving foster home or being returned to a place that’s unprepared for you, dirty, cold, and could not care less? Of course, some parents may turn around and be ready for their children to come home. But others will cry in front of the judge, plead how much they miss their babies. Reality is, they miss taking cute pictures to post a fantasy life on social media just to be glorified by other of what a great parent you are. That is not the reality. The reality is waking up all night when they are sick, crying, scared. Homework, sports, buying new clothes, diapers, shoes for someone other than yourself. It is putting your life on hold for your child. That is the reality for us foster parents, but not what the state prepares the birth parents for. They train foster parents and make sure we are stable- mentally and physically but not the birth family. The reality for these birth families is they are screaming, hitting, and mistreating these beautiful children and eventually, your phone alarm will signal an amber alert. Where is your voice? Use it to help the welfare of all these innocent children.

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