These lesser-known strategies of abuse may slide under your radar. — We are all familiar with emotional abuse classic. We know all about gaslighting, manipulation, intimidation and emotional invalidation. The longer I’ve practiced, the more I’ve recognized a shadowy collection of subtler emotional abuses that tend to go unnoticed. Let’s drag a few out into the light for a better look…

Their voice will correct you for the rest of your life. — Sometimes tiny, seemingly insignificant events from childhood stay with us forever. For me, it was raking leaves in the backyard. I was eleven. It was a crisp, November morning in southern Mississippi, a few weeks after the blueberry bushes had yielded their last. Being a sixth grader, I had a…

I have never sat comfortably within the Magnolia State’s shade. — When it came to where I was born, no one gave me a choice. The incorporeal essence that would soon become Brad Stennerson was never given a globe and asked where, specifically, he wanted to appear. There was no listing of pros and cons. There was no populating of Excell…

When you remember a past version of yourself, do not look for a villain. — The old adage insists “people don’t change.” We evoke this folksy, self-evident explanation whenever someone repeats a mistake or self-destructive behavior. Of course Bruce got another DUI. He said he had his shit together, but let’s face it — people don’t change. Cynical cliches notwithstanding, people do change. We don’t…

What motivates these anonymous cyber villains? — If you’ve ever braved that digital dystopia known as “the internet,” you’ve probably encountered a troll. They aren’t hard to find. They are as ubiquitous in cyberspace as “horny singles in your area” and before/after weight loss ads of the same fitness model poking out and then flexing their stomach…

A nemesis loves to show up when we’re at our lowest. — Sometimes we have moments that make us look like terrible people. Sometimes, when the moon is ill-phased and the planets have aligned just so, the worst possible person is there to see it. I was fourth in a funeral procession. It was a cool November, by Mississippi standards, with a…

Anyone can learn to stand up for themselves — and they should. — No one is born assertive. Sure, some of us emerge from the womb with genetic predispositions that make it easier to assert ourselves — like high emotional stability or a fight-tuned fight-or-flight response — but assertiveness is a skill we must acquire through learning and practice. Even the most mild-natured…

Please don’t judge me but I’d rather wait in line at the DMV. — Science has always been a simp for meditation. Did you know, for instance, it can reduce anxiety? Have you heard it can improve sleep? Were you aware that meditation can lengthen attention span, heighten mood and cultivate warm, fuzzy emotions like hope and gratitude? Science will happily fill you in…

They are pulling twice their own body weight in emotional burden. — The donkey has successfully carved a niche for itself as the animal kingdom’s premiere bearer of burdens. While strong — capable of carrying nearly a third of their own body weight and pulling six times that much — they are often loaded beyond their capacity. Some people, I have noticed…