Hello Cat

Hello Cat Cat Cat, hello Cat Cat Cat, hello Cat hello Cat hello Cat Cat Cat.

I sing you your song, composed for you from the sweet tender originality of my optimism.

A belief that we will be friends.

I feed you sachets of chicken or fish or some minced up beast, despite me being a vegetarian.

I’ve compromised myself for you Cat. I’ve traded in my ethics for a bag of death. But you don’t even purr when I sing. You turn away from me, flash me your heinous arsehole and pretend like we ain’t nothing.

I’ve heard your lot are different from dogs. Less licking and more ignoring. You don’t need me like a dog needs me and I am okay with that, sometimes. But vomiting whatever this is on the floor I just mopped? Where’s your heart, Cat?

I don’t want to take you for walks, but I want us to connect. I’ll give you a treat if you let me rub your ears. But it’s all on your terms isn’t, Cat?

If I initiate contact, you reject me. You even bite. Lash out like a drunken madman, except the drunk feels shame and regret in the morning. Not you, Cat; not you. Brazen and bitchin’, late-night cruising and tender-spot itchin’. You lick your balls as a challenge. I’m not impressed, and I wouldn’t even if I could. Mine not yours.

I came home the other day and you were sleeping in the drawer I left open. It was my mistake, but you know I only wear dark clothes. The fur you left looks like neon lights in the nighttime sky.

But here’s the kicker, Cat: I have white bed linen. And your fur, in your multi-coloured coat of beauty, leaves that tarnished too. There is no escaping the presence you leave. You are everywhere. In my bowl of porridge that Tuesday morning, on the dressing table, on my bicycle seat — how did you get up there, Cat?

You cry outside the door like you want food, but you’ve just eaten. You just want to make sure I’m not having sex with my girlfriend. We can’t do it when you’re watching, and you know that, don’t you, Cat?

We could have been something, Cat. I could have tickled your ears and you could have purred. Maybe, after a while, you would have even tried a vegetarian snack. I don’t know how that works with you being a carnivore, but we could have Googled cat supplements.

We could have, we could have, we could have, but it’s over now. Your sick is a reminder of how you rejected my kindness.

We could have, but it’s over now.

Goodbye Cat, goodbye cat, goodbye Cat Cat Cat.

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