Fire in Da House!

It was a Wednesday night like any other…

Until it wasn’t.

“OHMYGOD THERE’S A FIRE!” my girlfriend screamed in a panic.

Just then, my heart immediately sank.

This wasn’t how our evening was supposed to go.

(After all, the newest episodes of “Squid Games: The Challenge” just came out — and I was super STOKED about that.)

All I wanted to do was relax by watching other people experience devastation from the comfort of my couch…

But alas, sometimes its the simplest of dreams that burn the brightest (if that makes any sense whatsoever…?)

ANYWAYS, I sprang up like a bat out of hell as smoke began to fill the room.

So naturally you might be wondering: What caused the fire in the first place?

And to put it simply? The desire for Mac & Cheeze.

But to put it more complicatedly? It was caused by a specific ingredient required for the recipe: bread crumbs.

These lil guys were burning to a crisp in the oven as my gf was planning to sprinkle them over the finished pasta dish.

(Yeah, we watch Master Chef in this household.)

(Just kidding — we don’t actually.)

ANYWAYS…

We needed to put this fire out. And my girlfriend beat me to the closet — where the fire extinguisher was — so to feel useful, I started opening doors and windows in the meantime.

The reason for this was twofold: 1) so we didn’t pass out from smoke inhalation, and 2) so our cats had an escape route.

Now standing in the kitchen, my gf screams at me.

And the words that exited her mouth were the LAST ones you’d ever want to hear from somebody holding a fire extinguisher:

“BABE, IDUNNO HOW TO USE IT!”

…

Hilarious, right?

Now as you can imagine…

This sent a chill down my spine.

But surprisingly it wasn’t because she didn’t know how to use the extinguisher…

Rather because I wasn’t sure if I knew how to EITHER!

And that was awkward AF to say the least.

How many people actually end up using a fire extinguisher in their lifetime?

My mind started envisioning embarrassing conversations with friends and family to be had:

“Yeah, neither of us knew how to use the extinguisher… So the house just went up in flames!”

I couldn’t let that happen.

So I flew over to my gf and snatched the extinguisher from her.

But the crazy thing is… If you were to ask me — right now — to recite how to use a fire extinguisher?

I’d have absolutely no clue.

I think I removed some piece and pressed a button…

Regardless, my technique ending up working — thank Gawd!

I opened the oven (DON’T DO THIS, apparently it can cause a deadly blast lol) and sprayed the fire with that foamy white stuff.

The fire died along with my expectations for a relaxing evening.

The saddest part was the pasta — which was sitting on top of the stove — was caught in the battle.

And as a result, a light coating of fire extinguisher stuff now covered my girlfriends heartfelt dish.

But its the thought that counts.