Why I Don't Want Kids
I know this point of view is slowly becoming more commonplace, but I still see a lot of people confused or even upset when someone says they don't want to have kids.
I didn't understand that perspective (the ones against the no kids thing) before, but I think I do now. I've noticed that in America, this ideal of a family with 2.5 kids and a dog is pushed pretty heavily. I don't know if that stems from religious roots or if it's too ensure that the human race doesn't die out, but I do notice that “The American Dream” involves having a family. At least it did before…
I think a new American Dream is coming to the forefront. Actually, it's not really new, but the idea of it being what people want is. That dream is freedom. Freedom to live your life on your terms. I'm not sure if Tony Robbins still feels this way because it was a long time ago and people change, but a young, 20-something version of him defined freedom as “Doing what I want, when I want, where I want, with whomever I want, as much as I want, in a way that hopefully benefits other people simultaneously.”
I don't know about you, but that sounds like what I want. A life of travel, meeting like-minded people, acquiring new skills, adventuring, and helping people along the way. I know you can still do these things if you have kids, but I also want to be free to pick up and go anytime I want and be able to fail without worrying about how I'm going to give them what they need.
Not being able to take care of kids or a significant other doesn't seem to stop people from having either one, but I don't want to be the cause of someone else's destitution. I grew up well-off and I've also experienced being broke, so I know both ends of that spectrum and let me tell you, kids, being broke is not something I'd wish on anyone I loved.
That's all it is, at least for me. Sure, half of it's selfish, but if you sacrifice your ideal of a great life to fulfill someone else's standard, then you'll just become unhappy anyway, especially since you had no say in establishing said standard. But look at it this way; is it fair to bring kids into this world-- or bring a spouse into your life, even if you're not fit to take care of them? I can't justify having a family just because “you're supposed to,” especially if I can't give them a life of options.
Let me know what you think. Are you a traditionalist when it comes to kids or are you part of the no-kids movement? If you're one way or the other, what has been the heaviest influence your decision; religion, your own upbringing?