BDM Mission Log #1

Braindead Monkeys
3 min readSep 8, 2022

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Back aboard the MS Zola, the troops of Platoon 13 had finished settling into their living quarters. Trooper #1067 Chad B. was kicking back in his bunk taking advantage of the long voyage to Earth and enjoying a few moments of peace. Chad was ready to blaze and rock out to some tunes. He reached into his pack to grab his ear pods, only to find an empty pocket.

He recalled lending them to Jimmy. Chad hollered, “Jimmy!…Jiiimmmyyy!…Where are my ear pods?”

No response from Jimmy. Chad sprung up from his bed and stormed over to Jimmy’s bunk hoping to retrieve them. To his surprise there was no Jimmy to be found. This was odd as Magnus had given the order to remain in the living quarters for rec & leisure time until further notice.

Chad started asking other troops, “You seen Jimmy?”

“Nope, not a clue”, Dr.J replied as he took stock of his traveling pharmacy of party favors.

No one had seen him, he had vanished. Chad B. and Jimmy were quite close friends, from childhood. Chad became concerned and ran around frantically. Dex was baked out of his gourd as usual. Watching the commotion Chad was creating was throwing off Dex’s zen time.

“Would you, chill the fuck out jabroski!” he yelled in his mellow toned voice.

Chad finally reported it to Magnus, “Sir. Jimmy is gone, we need to search the ship.”

Magnus was in agreement and Platoon 13 began a sweep of the ship. After searching corridor after corridor, cargo holds, mess hall, living quarters it was as if Jimmy had vanished into thin air. After a grueling search which lasted hours Chad came across a maintenance crew sealing off a hatch in one of the cargo holds.

“What happened here?”, inquired Chad.

The maintenance lead responded, “There was a hull breach when leaving Earth. A safety hatch was pulled out during the ascent into the atmosphere. It must have been missed during final safety checks.”

Chad noticed a few blue threads that matched Jimmy’s sweater clinging to the twisted metal of the gnarled hinge. In that moment Chad put two and two together realizing what had taken place. Quite certain it was Jimmy that breached that door, Chad reported it to Magnus. A short investigation ensued. Based on the time the MS Zola’s alert system was triggered from the hull breach its altitude was at a fatal height for a fall. At that time the B.D.I.T (Braindead Investigation Team) deemed Jimmy KIA. Back on Planet Moonkey a search team was dispatched in an attempt to recover his remains. With no avail the team returned empty handed, it was predicted that Jimmy’s body was mostly obliterated upon impact and his remains were quickly eaten by Draco Birds and other carnivorous scavengers.

Time passed slowly and almost stood still for Chad as he waited for information about his friend. A communications officer entered Platoon 13’s living quarters and delivered the hard news. Chad was devastated, he fell to the floor and broke into tears. His fellow troopers of Platoon 13 consoled him, they were all feeling the sudden loss of their comrade. This was certainly an unexpected and morbid send off for the mission to Earth. One can only hope the Moonkey Force will fare better as their journey continues.

Written By ~ J-Crypto https://twitter.com/MetaRob31

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