7 Tips for Dating an Enneagram Type 1: Romance with The Perfectionist
Enneagram Type Ones are all about doing more and improving to be the best versions of themselves — and they want the same for their partners. These Perfectionists are ethical, loyal, principled, and growth-oriented — and expect the same from their partners! Discover their relationship strengths and weaknesses so you know what to expect when dating a Type 1!
People with Enneagram 1 are called “The Reformer” or ‘“The Perfectionist.” Their positive personality traits include high integrity, reliability, honesty, detail-orientedness, ambition, and self-control.
On the other hand, the primary fear of Type 1 is being a “bad person,’” wrong or lazy, corrupt, defective, or otherwise seeming imperfect.
When it comes to relationships, Enneagram Type 1s are not the easiest people to date. Their need for perfection, being overly critical, and the fact that they demand high standards can be overwhelming for anyone. But once you get past that, they make faithful, committed, caring, and determined partners.
This article explores what it’s like in a relationship with an Enneagram Type 1. And it’s only by truly understanding others that you can effectively gauge compatibility.
What to Expect When Dating an Enneagram 1
Just like no two people are the same, no two Enneagram 1’s are exactly alike. However, there are behaviors and traits that each personality type is more likely to display. Let’s look at what you can likely expect when you are in a relationship with a Type 1.
Type 1’s Are Ethical and Highly-Principled Partners
Have you been on dates lately? People don’t seem to have principles anymore. But Type Ones are a breath of fresh air as they aren’t afraid to stand up for their beliefs. They have a clear view of right and wrong and will go out of their way to conform to the proper rules.
This trait makes them reliable partners you can count on to do right even when you’re not around. But remember, they expect the same integrity and high standards from their partners. They don’t take kindly to lies and have no problem ending the relationship.
Their moral compass applies to more than just major situations. It could be something as simple as taking office supplies from work or sneaking snacks into the movies. A Type 1 will not do any of these and won’t be happy with their date or partner doing them either.
Don’t Bring a Type 1 to a Messy Home
Expect to see nothing but cleanliness and tidiness around a Type 1. They wear clean clothes with no holes, rips, or creases. Type 1s also keep their homes clean and well-organized. They will have plenty of storage to keep everything packed away and avoid clutter.
Type Ones are super judgy about uncleanliness and messiness and view it as a moral failure. Needless to say, they expect their partners to be clean and will appreciate tips on tidying. So, before you invite them to your space, do some cleaning first. You’ll have to be able to maintain cleanliness if you want to be in a long-term relationship with a Type 1.
Routine and Structure Are Important to a Type 1
The Perfectionist is not the most spontaneous or impulsive of the nine Enneagram personalities. They prefer their days to be mapped out and thrive on a set structure; otherwise, they’ll become anxious.
They might seem cold or robotic from the outside, but Type Ones can be passionate. While they may not spontaneously elope to Vegas, they will plan for a romantic getaway. They also like showing love and care in small, subtle ways, like drawing you a bath when you’ve had a long day, doing the dishes, etc.
If you like to go with the flow, dating a Type 1 will be frustrating. Flexibility is not their strong suit; they must assess everything through their internal meter of right and wrong.
Type 1s Can Be Hard to Read
Type Ones always need to do the right thing and be perfect. While this trait makes them strive to be better people, it can also work against the relationship.
Perfectionists are good at hiding their negative feelings, disappointments, stress, and failures. They don’t want to be viewed in a bad light. What ends up happening with these bottled-up feelings is that they explode in a way that threatens the relationship.
Type Ones can also fake being friendly and engaging because they think that’s the right thing to do. This behavior can be confusing when you think you had a great date or your relationship is doing fine, only for your partner to give you the silent treatment, ghost you, or call it quits.
Effective and constant communication is vital when dating an Enneagram 1. You want to encourage them to talk about and healthily express their feelings.
Don’t Be Late for Your Date with a Type 1 — Or Anything Else
The Perfectionist is punctual and sees tardiness as a sign of disrespect. As mentioned, they view things as right or wrong — no grey areas. So, being on time is good, while being late is bad.
Be on time if you want to make an excellent first impression when going out with a Type 1. This timeliness is a good trait in a relationship because it means Type Ones will always fulfill their responsibilities and promises on time. They will communicate any delays beforehand and never leave you wondering if you will show up.
How Type 1’s Like to Express and Receive Love
For people with this Enneagram, being a perfectionist is a blessing and a curse. They are motivated to give everything they’ve got and want others to view them as good.
Unfortunately, these high standards they put on themselves, and others, often make them struggle to feel satisfied. For this reason, quality time and words of affirmation go a long way toward making them feel valued and affirming that they are good, loved, and respected.
You want to acknowledge and appreciate a nice thing they’ve done for you. Type Ones also have a mission to help others. By engaging in charitable acts with them, you can show that you care about their values and other people.
What Type 1’s Find Attractive in a Partner
People in this category are focused, disciplined, and have a sense of self-control. They want a partner who shares the same straits. And anyone who’s too chaotic can be overwhelming. They clearly understand right and wrong and often struggle in relationships with someone who doesn’t know what they want. While you may not have your entire life mapped out, Type Ones want a partner with goals and who’s willing to chase after their dreams.
Perfectionists constantly juggle many things, so they need a supportive partner who can assure them they’re doing a good job.
Is Your Ideal Match an Enneagram 1?
People show and expect to receive love differently depending on their personalities. And the Enneagram test is one way to know what each personality type prioritizes, fears, and values.
Do you know your Enneagram type and that of your partner? If not, taking an assessment together can be a fun activity to do together.
Or, if you’re single, knowing your own Enneagram can help you find someone who is compatible with your personality.
If your ideal partner is someone who is focused, ethical, loyal, reliable, and steady, then you’ve hit the jackpot with a Type 1. But remember that their high standards and expectations can sometimes be unrealistic. But a healthy Type 1 will know their partner is not perfect.
