Presence > Presents (A late Christmas gift)

I’ve used a simple title that makes perfect and obvious sense, but there’s plenty more to prove, I promise. It’s something about the holiday spirit that makes me quite congested with my thoughts; I figured that laying them all out here might make sense. So, as a prelude to my thoughts, I’d like to bring it back to the initial start of the “Holiday spirit”.

Even before Thanksgiving Day, retail stores fill their aisles with candy canes, lights, ornaments, Christmas trees, etc.. and quite honestly, it bugs the hell out of me. That stuffed reindeer is just another sales attempt to convince me to improve my holiday spirit before anyone else does. It’s a trick some consumers might fall for, but never those who realize that retail store marketing is the devil! What matters most to them is what lies in your wallet, and that’s just cruel. Literally the moment you finish that plate full of turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, and gravy, all hell breaks loose. It all starts with a nationwide shopping phenomenon called “Black Friday”. It’s the very next day after Thanksgiving where consumers line up in front of stores as early as 3am, JUST to make sure they don’t miss out on the insane deals. Best Buy for example, is known for their huge savings on electronics like TV’s, cameras, phones, and game consoles. It’s a sacrifice of sleep, a waste of gas, and some money out of your pocket… for what? A brand new Xbox under the tree might make a kid’s dream come true. And a brand new TV on the wall might make your wife super happy, but we’re talking about materialistic things here. Gifts that we can unravel, money can buy. I didn’t know it way back when in my younger days, but the best gifts, were never placed under the tree.

As a kid I was stoked to receive things like brand new video games, or jerseys from my favorite basketball players, but it’s quite different now. Certain perspectives of life have changed greatly through my years of adolescence. It’s much easier to distinguish what matters most to me. Personal goals are in motion, while self discovery is gradually attained through lessons learned. Trust me when I say, that a human being’s personal growth is inevitable! It’s within all of us, yet I find it most interesting to explore within others. Good people come to me with stories, problems, lessons; all that close personal stuff which I truly enjoy listening to. There’s comfort in knowing that you’re best friends with those you can easily relate to, but there’s even more comfort in knowing they have you to turn to. I don’t like using the term “conversationalist”, and I don’t consider myself to be one just yet, so I’ll just go ahead and say I’ve really been captivated by interesting talks with my people. It takes lots of courage to say what’s been on your mind for a long time, but it’s even more courageous to hold it all to yourself. I’ve learned that it’s overwhelming to do so, even to the point where it can potentially be dangerous. I’m only twenty-one years of age, and I’ve learned a lot from my surroundings. I’m sure you have, too! It’s important to utilize the positivity we’ve gained from our past experiences to fully enjoy the holidays! It’s much more than just trees wrapped in lights.

My mom used to buy my brother and I advent calendars, with a piece of chocolate to eat on each day of December, leading up to Christmas. I’d get so excited the anticipation drove me crazy! I was thinking of what I’d get to open up when the 25th finally came. It’s funny, to think about the changes throughout the years… Back then it was all about tearing that wrapping paper to shreds, to uncover a gift you’ve always wanted. But through our adolescent years, our minds shift. We get stressed about school, social status, relationships, etc, and distraction invades our lives. There’s a phase of confusion we put our parents through, which eventually fades. We later develop a level of maturity that our parents see as we grow older. We grow wiser and milder as we slowly escape our young-adult years. College gradually comes to an end, and we’re faced with a load of obstacles and blessings-sometimes too difficult to handle. Then December comes, and it hits us hard sometimes… Have you ever felt it? It’s insane to try to keep up with everything when you’re mind is elsewhere. This year, a wish list was the last thing I had in mind. Even without El Niño’s contribution of freezing temperatures, it would’ve been a super cold winter regardless. Young, single teens struggle with the comfort of a relationship as they see couples walk through the streets holding hands. College kids may not enjoy time back home because their new friends reside somewhere out of state, and home doesn’t really seem like home anymore. There’s more to these distractions, people… way more. But there’s something we must realize.

Home, is where our heart lies. If you can relate to the feeling of congestion within your family’s household, just know that it’s temporary feeling. As a normal kid in his early twenties, I must say that this realization didn’t come to me quickly. It took time to put distractions aside, and to realize what truly meant the most to me. And what truly, truly means the most to me, is family. They’ve always had my back since day one. I sat in the living room drinking cider and eating candy canes with my family as we watched the Warriors & Cavaliers game on TV. The referees called bullshit calls, and I watched as my dad shouted at the screen with a perfect mixture of joy and confusion. My brother just shook his head in agreement, with smiling eyes, and my mom was dying of laughter. It was a scene of pure love. And it was at that specific moment where it came clear to me that presents don’t mean shit. Materialistic gifts bring temporary happiness, but my goal is to eventually achieve permanent happiness. It’s the greatest gift in life that everyone in this world deserves. Permanent happiness begins with engulfing one’s self in a positive environment, like my home. December is the time of the year when the best flashbacks always come back to me. My brother and I used to shoot hoops until the sun went down, then we’d shoot more until Mom called us in for dinner. Mom still smiles at me the same way she did when she picked me up from preschool. And pops still feeds me wisdom I always understand after a few years pass.

There’s a reason why the annual holiday “mall crawl” really isn’t my thing anymore. I don’t seek presents any longer. It’s the presence, of those who truly love me, that will always be the biggest blessing of mine. It might take a materialistic-based holiday to realize this, but at least it’s clearer than ever. If you’ve enjoyed the holidays with your family like I did, I’m happy for you. You’ll meet new people throughout your adventurous life, but only a few can say they’ve been there since day one.

Happy Holidays everybody!

(Photo creds to Mom, who snapped this as she picked me up from preschool)

Best wishes,

Brandon