I think one of the saddest aspects of gender difference is how men think that sex is an arena in…
Pua Nani

Don’t make the mistake of thinking there aren’t plenty of men who have made basically this exact same commentary about women!!

In my 20s I was the nice guy who kept having this happen to him. I settled for a woman who wasn’t my everything; because she was nice, pretty, and didn’t play those games with me.

And there’s a corollary to this: plenty of men can relate their experiences of women who played them similarly, but for money. My step father’s first wife for example.

The problems with the over arching topics being discussed today via #metoo are two fold:

  1. The 2 sexes presume the other sex is somehow entirely to blame for whatever ails them — and it’s very hard to understand each other because biologically we are just fundamentally different than each other in some subtle but important ways
  2. Well actually it all boils down to that first point; but to emphasize: men and women communicate DIFFERENTLY. Men punch each other, men wrestle and tease and challenge each other, men compete with each other and play games to try to determine who is alpha and beta, and men talk crassly with each other and to each other. Women don’t exactly do these things much. And so when a man interacts with a woman like he does with other men, things get confusing, feelings get hurt, misunderstandings arise. It’s not that there aren’t actual bad guys out there, there are. But it’s also that a lot of what’s being talked about can just as easily be explained by guys being… well, dumb… not realizing they aren’t with another guy… but that, too, is complicated by the fact that the last girl they were with maybe treated them badly too, and so they picked up a bad habit.

Look, I’m not trying to apologize for the actual bad guys. But most of us? Most of are just trying our best to navigate a crazy world where male hormones intersect with a million non binary options of complexity and… yes, we screw up along the way. Most guys have either been emasculated their entire life, or mistakenly went too far in acting on their male impulse. But they weren’t trying to be bad guys. And most I’m sure felt remorse and sought to behave better in the future. I know I did.

Please. It’s one thing to help remind us to be nice and treat women different than we treat men. But ease up a bit; those of us trying to be better are feeling very attacked right now. And that’s making it hard for us to see the future.