10 Instructions To Follow If I Get Killed By The Police…

On the unlikely chance that I was to get killed by police officers, there are a few wishes I would like the public to follow.

  1. I would explicitly like the above pictures to be used by CNN, MSNBC, ABC, NBC, and CBS when discussing my death. There are some pictures of me wearing a hoodie floating around the Internet that Fox News is free to use.
  2. If Tomi Lahren HAS to make an idiotic rant about my death, I would like her to practice her delivery a few times. I don’t want it to sound like she’s angrily screaming at a TelePrompTer like she usually does. I think I deserve a better treatment than that.
  3. Before Bill O’Reilly or Sean Hannity ask, I’m not generally a fan of rap music.
  4. If someone could get in touch with Beyoncé and have her dedicate a performance to me, that would be appreciated.
  5. I would prefer protesters to not block highways while screaming #JusticeForBrandon. It only looks worse when you all are getting arrested.
  6. The whole Colin Kaepernick thing is pretty cool, so if some athletes wanna do something like that I’d like it.
  7. Don’t set up a GoFundMe for my family, donate the money to a local school.
  8. Trump is not allowed to tweet about my death. Hillary can, but she needs to tread carefully.
  9. I have a Nihilist sense of humor, so while my Twitter may seem like I had a death wish, I was not trying to be killed by the police.
  10. In discussion my death don’t act like dealing with black-on-black crime and police brutality are mutually exclusive.