Q: How much longer can I practice tolerance before I blow up on facebook?
A: time is up!
This has to be a sentiment many can relate to at this moment, right?! Frankly, I’m beginning to wonder if I’m deliberately torturing myself, trying to see how far down the rabbit hole I can go until I completely lose it?! You know you’re in trouble when you’re considering telling off a friend-of a friend-of a friend, until you realized it would only fall on deaf ears. (And magnify how much time you’ve spent on social media)
But before I explode, where am I coming from?
I’m 33, white, middle-class with 2 young girls. I’m college educated (first of my immeadiate family), a creative professional and have worked my ass off for everything I have. My husband rounds out my artsy-fartsy-nature by being a stereotypical “dude.” He is blue-collar: both a fireman and a electrician, loves his family, sports and beer. (Yes, shopping for him is incredibly easy!) We live in a nice, over-priced neighborhood close to the city inside a highly conservative state. I’m less interested about the fiscal portion of things as I’m admittedly terrible with finances, but am trying to be less tied to superficial crap that keeps us in forever debt (although TJmaxx/Homegoods still have a stronghold on me 😬)
Although I’m socially liberal, I don’t agree with everything on the left: I’m personally anti-abortion, and very thankful that I’ve never been in a situation where I’d ever have to consider it. I’m not sure marriage laws should be a decision made by the government, ultimately a personal choice all should have the freedom to make. I’m Christian, but believe in the separation of church and state and know it’s my responsibility to teach my children morals which includes love for all of God’s children. I also believe it’s our duty to help those less fortunate, so along with giving to our church, I have no qualms helping fund effective social programs.
It should go without saying; this year isn’t politics as usual. This isn’t about differing views on government spending, or political policy: my beef is in response to the overwhelming amount of ignorance, hatred and lack of humanity in our society.
Sure, Donald Trump has become the perfect orange-faced anti-Christ mascot of this. But despite how much I hate where we are, this election pulled back the veil revealing how little we’ve progressed in middle America (and it needed to be done!) It exposed how many people chose fear and greed over the “golden rule.” Frustration easily got pushed to those we didn’t understand, and ultimately we placed our hope in a narcissistic-Neanderthal-reality star-billionaire.
Disclaimer: I know minorities have been on the front lines of this battle forever! (Insert all the black girls saying, “it’s about damn time all you white girls woke up!”)
But enough is enough! I will be silent and compliant no more! I’m so incredibly sorry it took all of us so long to stand beside you.
So back to my rant…
(Filter completely off)
I have bit my tongue and refrained from responding to soooooo many ignorant, and deliberately horrendous remarks over the years that I’m about to explode!!!
I know differing opinions are important and it’s crucial we get out of our own echo chambers in order to grow as a healthy society. However, pretending sexist/racists/etc remarks are okay is not acceptable. We can’t keep claiming that just because someone is “nice enough” that slipping slurs now and then is excusable if “they are a good person. ” (spoiler alert: That does not make you a good person! )
I also can’t keep unfollowing everyone bc #1 It cowardly #2 It’s worse for me sit back in silence than to tell someone my true feelings. So despite proper social media etiquette, here’s my blanket response to some specific remarks/themes I keep seeing pop up:
“I just don’t get what all these women are pissed about.” — says everyone I wanna punch.
- If you don’t understand why the entire world is protesting, then you probably never will. This isn’t because you’re not capable/intelligent enough, instead, because you don’t choose to understand anyone different from you. You’ve probably never once asked someone else how these issues make them feel and really listened. Or…you simply don’t care. So frankly, it’s not worth explaining all the issues because you don’t really want to know. (Or maybe you’ve been living under a rock?) Although ignorance is bliss, for some reason other people fighting for your/daughter’s rights is disturbing your bubble and making you feel uncomfortable and annoyed. Get over it. You think we’re complaining about shit that doesn’t matter? Look.in.the.mirror.
“I can’t believe all the hypocrites who are pissed about the pussy comment, because most of them have said much worse and are humongeuous sluts!”
— paraphrased, although the original post was much worse 😡
^Yes this was a real post. This took every last muscle not to go ape-shit on all 102+ people that “liked” this, including some women I know.
2. There is no reason to sugar coat this: Mocking women who marched against sexual assault (yes, grabbing a woman by their pussy is assault) by calling them sluts makes you a disgusting pig! I could only hope that someday you’d understand, that despite being the norm in our society, how terrible slut-shaming is and how it directly feeds rape-culture. I also PRAY you would NEVER have someone violate you or someone close to you. I myself, knows what this feels like and I’m pretty sure I didn’t “ask for” being “grabbed by my pussy” when I was 6 years old.
“I’ve always taught my girls to be strong. They don’t need to march because they aren’t victims.” —white dad of the year
3. Women who marched aren’t “victims.” If we were, we’d sit inside and stay in misery versus standing up for ourselves. We are strong, we are powerful and we won’t let your ignorance or belittling break us! We are fighting for you, your mothers, your daughters and your granddaughters even if you don’t understand why. Many people who are abused or denied basic liberties don’t know any different. That doesn’t make it okay. You aren’t stronger because you suffer in silence, and I promise your daughters will eventually resent you for making them feel like that is the proper way to cope with mistreatment.
“Why can’t everyone just shut up already, be a good person and pray for one another?” —majority of people
4. Wouldn’t that be ideal?! Of course we should all try to be kind, understanding, compassionate…”the change we want to see in our world.” But being silent, standing back and simply praying for change isn’t enough. I do believe God is the ultimate hope, but he has anointed warriors to fight in his name too. There is a Holy Spirit running through those that should feel defeated but keep standing up for what’s right. All the people at Standing Rock who are relentlessly fighting for the preservation of our water, our Mother Earth, for people and a country who’ve done nothing but murder and step all over them.
Please don’t confuse silence and politeness for kindness.
6 million Jews were murdered while the world sat in silence.
Today there are roughly 30million people still in modern day slavery. 80% are female, 50% are children.
How much more are we going to tolerate? Is the disruption of your newsfeed worth that? Does it need to happen to you?
God, I would hope not.
- I’m fully ready for the backlash from people I may be offending. I know I’m being blunt, rude at times, making broad generalizations and by no means perfect. I haven’t always been this convicted. I’ve done my fair share of terrible things; I have practiced sexism, slut-shamed but mostly have been pretty terrible to myself. But I will try my hardest to fight for what’s right for my daughters and our future country. So bring it…and thanks for reading.