The Older I Get, The More I Regress

I had my first pitch accepted to an LGTBQ magazine! It’s for the December issue. I’ll tell you more about it when I can. but this means I can finally set Chad my inner critic on fire.

Nearly a month into Not Being Naked On Camera, and my life has taken some interesting turns. I’m not writing as much as I thought I would- it turns out I have a lot to say, but only on things that aren’t marketable. Funny, I thought salacious stories would sell, but it turns out my life doesn’t make for as good a read as I thought it did. My own hubris foils me again. It’s okay, though. I found my niche- I’ve been making bath products for a month now and they’ve been selling like mad. These days, I’m usually covered in dust and colour, blue on my face and black under my nails, smelling like I bathed in a perfume aisle. These days, all my clothes are stained blue and yellow. My hair is purple, and my fingers match my hair.

And I couldn’t be happier.

When I was a kid, I used to mix up different makeup to make weird new creations. It didn’t always work out well. I made a lot of messes. I moved to baking when I was older- I loved being a mad scientist and chemistry always made me happy, but without a degree in science my skills were limited to kitchen alchemy. Then I found bath products- with some rudimentary research, and some trial and error, I could make amazing concoctions that smelled nice and were great for the skin. People responded well- I have a natural talent and a nose for good scents. A video of my TARDIS bomb exploding went viral, and now I’m getting orders upon orders every week. My Secret Weapon perfume is selling like hotcakes.

Life takes some odd twists and turns. It’s been a weird year. I’m a lady who, last summer, was taking my pants off for money and just moving in with a wonderful man. In a year, I’ve found out my wonderful man was actually a wonderful lady all along, become a lady sherpa, gotten engaged, finally got diagnosed with and started treating my ADD, quit my job of nearly ten years, and started my own business. I’ll be the first to confess that I have no clue what I’m doing, and I’m terrified. But I’ve failed upwards so far, and hopefully I continue that momentum.

But first, I have a fire to start.

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