Liberals, Remember: Do Not Make Fun Of Barron Trump

There’s been a lot of controversy lately about what is appropriate in comedy and what is off limits. I am a firm believer in using comedy as an instrument of social change and in aiming it specifically at people with the power to change things. However, I find a lot of recent jokes about Barron Trump to be in extremely poor taste. I would formally like to remind liberals at this point in time that it is never appropriate to make fun of Barron, the Little Prince, our Nation’s First Lad, the Sweet Dear Boy of our lives. He is a pure, sweet boy, and the entire nation shall enjoy him. He is a little charmer in his sailor suit and we all want to make sure he is getting enough to eat so he can be big and strong. Are we all so cynical now that we can’t be pleased at the sight of a radiant boy?

For example, Barron Trump is a little Ellen Degeneres looking motherfucker. He wears a suit with shorts like a Little Rascals villain. He plays Counterstrike all night and uses wall hacks and says he fucks your mom after headshotting you and typing ‘jajaja’. This is exactly the kind of jokes we cannot be associated with. We are better than this.

We are better than saying lowbrow jokes like that he is a little doo doo ass bed wettin’ rich boy and the boys in the locker room are going to be hitting him with rat tails as he whines and reminds them who his pa pa is. We are better than jokes saying that he is going to force Secret Service agents to play Call of Duty with him and lose on purpose. We are better than suggesting that whenever he visits the oval office he licks an oversized lollipop and sways back and forth on a rocking horse. We, the Enlightened Left, must never resort to saying things like that Barron Trump went to the toy store and his father said he could have anything he wanted so he tried to buy a bunch of people that worked there like in that one movie I forgot to see from like thirty years ago.

It says a lot about the state of discourse in this country that people aren’t ashamed of themselves for saying things like that Barron Trump is one temper tantrum away from the childhood psychological profile of a cocaine-loving cardigan dude who kills models he casually overdoses with. We simply cannot say that the father of the boy who said Barron had “girl legs” has been affixed to a drone and flown to Yemen. This is beneath us, people.

The First Lady Melania has spent much of the campaign being overly protective of Barron for much of the campaign and into the presidency, and for good reason. People are out there saying things like that Barron Trump’s private minecraft server currently has up to four CIA agents being forced to build the world’s largest rocking horse that says “up here is a good smart boy” when you use it. Some critics have claimed that Barron has forced his school to lower the basketball hoop so he can dunk and that the subject ‘Social Studies’ has now been renamed ‘Goku Studies’.

Liberals, please remember. The lowball tactics of the right are something we will not participate in. Regardless of your feelings on Donald Trump, please understand that Barron Trump is off limits.