Beauty Pageants + Making Mistakes

Today, I received a call from a beauty pageant agency. A couple of weeks ago, I filled out a form to get more information on participating.

I was inspired partially by watching Miss Universe a few nights ago. I watched the contestants — the way they held themselves, the way they spoke, the way they stood. I saw them, I saw them, I saw them, and I realized.

These women can hold influence and can create change and can do so many things for good; that idea speaks and sings to my heart.

So, I searched for a local beauty pageant to sign up for. And thus, this led up to the call.

The call went great. I put on my best “customer service rep” voice, spoke without the “ums” and the “likes”, and I even made the agency rep laugh on the phone here and there.

After the call ended, I told the guy I’m dating about the call and how I wanted to maybe try it out.

And, then, he brought up a point;

“Are you sure you want to do this? You’re going to be going up against girls who’ve been preparing for this their whole lives.”

Words and phrases jutted out to me — “you sure”, “preparing”, “whole lives”.

Which, in turn, led me to think:

Am I sure? Should I even participate in an event that I have zero experience in?

The more I thought, the less certain I became.

The more I thought, a particular realization dawned on me.

If I never try, I’ll never know.

It was a cliche, cheesy thought that rang true.

Something about holding myself back and waiting and waiting and waiting frustrated me. Why shouldn’t I go after something I want to do? Why don’t I make mistakes, learn, and live?

If I wait for the most absolute perfect moment, I’ll be trapped in a state of no change. I’ll never be free.

If I don’t take action, I will never live.

Take risks. Make mistakes. Sometimes, things don’t work out and that’s okay.

I want to feel alive.

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