Birthday Musings:
My birthday always takes me to an introspective place and it being the eve of my birthday here I am writing it all out.
I look back on my life and sometimes think there’s been so much pain, I don’t know how I’m still standing, but then I realize this life of mine has given me the kind of strength most people don’t know they have inside them and for that I’m forever grateful.
Loss has been a constant friend knocking on my door and grief the third wheel that always shows up even when you don’t ask them too. The pain of walking hand in hand with loss and grief throughout life is the single hardest hurdle I’ve had to conquer. However, that walk has also made me tap into the well of strength we all have inside us. It’s endless if we look for it. Humans are fragile, our bodies have limits, which is why the universe, God, whoever you believe made us, also gave us this limitless pool of mental strength inside.
“The only thing that can ever break me is me giving in and that will never happen.”
I came across this song by Carrie Underwood and Ludacris called Champion and y’all it’s my new anthem. The definition of champion is something like, a person who has defeated or surpassed all rivals. I am my own champion. I don’t have anyone coming to rescue me in this life, a handful of family is still left that I can count on, the rest have passed on. It’s just me making a way for myself and my daughters and I will never stop, bet on that.
I could look back on this past year and factually say it’s been one of my worst years. I could also look back on this year and be thankful for the reminder that this life and where I am going is up to me, that no matter what it throws at me I will continue to pull from the depths of my strength, I will persevere.
For some of us there are more bad times than good but those of us living that life are the strongest among us. Never forget you are a champion. In the words of Carrie and Luda:
The C is for the courage I posses through the drama.
H is for the hurt, but it’s all for the honor.
A is for my attitude working through the patience.
Money comes and goes so the M is for motivation.
Gotta stay consistent so the P is to persevere.
The I is for integrity, innovative career.
The O is optimistic, open and never shut.
The N is necessary cause I’m never gonna quit.
“I’ll be the last one standing, Two hands in the air, I’m a Champion, You’ll be looking up at me when it’s over, I live for the battle, I’m a soldier.”
So here’s to my 33rd year, the best is yet to come, nothing will stop me but death itself and even then it’s just the next big adventure.
