A little thing called friendship.
Cherish every moment of it.
A few days ago I decided to drive to the beach for my lunch break, as I had recently promised myself to start being more intentional about doing things I really love. As I sat on the bench over looking the beach, A pair of old ladies arrived and took a seat two benches for mine. They had a coffee in hand and hearts that appeared to be more full than I thought was possible. I knew this to be true when upon sitting down, one of the ladies wasn’t sure if she wanted to sit on the wood of the bench and her friend chose to take off her jacket, even though it was a windy day, so that her friend would be able to sit next to her. She replied with the most powerful and beautiful thank you.
I remember leaving with a happy heart after seeing this moment. It was a reminder for me to cherish my friendships, to give everything I have and more, to love unconditionally, to encourage and appreciate, and most importantly to be the friend that I wished to have in my world.
I needed a reminder like this. To remember how much God has blessed me and exceeded anything I had ever asked for. Much of my life had been spent going through seasons where I would constantly cry out to God to take me from my season of wilderness and loneliness. When it came to deep friendships there was no way I could count them, not because there was many…. but sadly because there was none.
I used to never imagine futures with vibrant and life-giving friendships. Never did I spend time imagining doing dinners with my best friends when we were married to awesome husbands like you see in the movies or did I imagine laughing with those same friends when I had grown old.
Growing up there was a part of me that began to get used to people coming and going, to friendships ending without reason. Every season of my life held less value because I saw no purpose in being excited about sharing it with those around me. My hope for the possibility of more grew faint…
Until last year, where one of the pastors during our C3 Cherish Women’s Conference did a message about choosing not to give up but to start going again when it came to calling and testing people, to scheduling hang outs and building meaningful friendships. It challenged me to my core…. To choose to go again even though I had every valid reason not to.
“Go Again.” — Ps. Leanne Matthesius
Choosing to go again opened the door for me to gain what I like to call forever friends, who are friends that love you in any and every season of life. By this door being opened a part of me was filled that I never even knew existed. God had began showing me the community I was made for. We were designed to do relationship with people and it was the first time I had truly know it.
When I think of friendship, I now think of all of those that make my life as beautiful as it is today.
Truthfully, I think so many of us women struggle with friendships. We have hurt and bruised hearts and walls so high up that resemble those of the Great Wall of China. We’ve trained ourselves to never allow space for intimacy and deepness to be created.
I hope this post encourages you today to not give up hope on having meaningful friendships.
I encourage you to start being the friend you wish to have. Start inviting again and creating an atmosphere for friendship to thrive. Leave the old behind. Don’t place old expectations and fears on new things.
Get yourself the people who will answer the phone at any time for you or ones that will allow you to stop by their house when you need it the most. Get yourself the friends who “mom” a little too much and tease you just enough. Get yourself adventure buddies and ones who give you way too many laughs. Get yourself friends who bring joy and richness. Get ones who care too much, who aren’t afraid to say sorry and forgive endlessly, and ones who require complete honesty. Get yourself the friends that only God knows you truly need.
Today, I am beyond thankful that I have those kind of people in my world. I’m thankful mostly for the friends that remind me of the things I love when I forget and the ones that know when to give me space AND when to enter my space.
I’m thankful for the friends that have challenged and changed my perspective on what friendship really is. For the ones that I can actually imagine growing old with now. For the ones that have forever changed my life. For the ones like Monica Boyan.