I feel like I’ve been much quieter lately. Part of me thinks it’s from watching Mr. Robot, because that fool takes like 9 years before he responds to anything–and sometimes doesn’t, at all. I always feel suspended in those silences, but with nothing better to offer the audience.

What have you gathered from all the culture you’re taking in, they ask? Oh, I don’t know. I haven’t synthesized any of it yet. It’s not surface-skimming stuff–no, it’s slow-going, like tree-rings or mineral build up. Maybe I’ll just be a fossil someone has to decode once I die. (But I mostly hope not)

My 6th grade teacher was Mrs. Brooks. She was always shouting “BE A SPONGE!” but I was very distracted by her muumuus.

I’m an information hoarder, though. And the mediums through which to extract and hoard information these days are so limitless it’s intoxicating. TV. Twitter. Evernote. Instagram. Books. Email. Tumblr. Kindle. Billboards. Yelp. Google. Journals. Post-It Notes. Podcasts. I kind of just love EXISTING in the information age. If your mind is open, it’s like standing in the rain. I guess, though, we’re all a little like plants, insomuch that we can either thrive or drown, and the difference is only a matter of drops.

I read everything. I observe everyone. I learn as much as I can. I listen. I download. I save. I’m just not tipping, and that worries me a little.

It’s not that I’m saving my ideas, my observations, for some grand unveiling.

I’m just waiting for it to feel like a river, to serendipitously join the flow of things. It’s how I’ve always operated, and it’s a hard thing to try to explain to other people.

I’m quiet, but it’s not because I have nothing to say. It’s just a matter of measuring. I have questions. And more questions. Sometimes I wish I’d majored in Philosophy–not that majors matter.

I just bit the tips off all of my fingernails.

Should I move to San Francisco?

And I feel really bad that I haven’t written a book yet. A lot of terrible books have been written! I’m not saying mine would be GOOD, but I also can say with some confidence that it wouldn’t be TERRIBLE.

If I don’t talk to you, don’t take it personally. I spend a lot of time inside my head.

I’m considering. I’m considerate. I have stories.

Originally published on Tumblr