Why Nice Guys Finish Last

Yes, it is true — nice guys really do finish last. I am a nice guy, and I used to finish last. Now, however, I play to win.

The issue lies with our definition of “nice guy”. The “nice guy” is a pussy, a softy and a pushover. He tries to get along with everyone and tries to fit in. He will fold his boundaries and let people walk all over him, you know because he is a “nice guy”. He doesn’t want to offend anyone, or incite any negative feelings. He lacks a backbone, a leg to stand on and some goddamn self-worth.

He won’t sexually escalate with a girl and risk being shot down by her because he doesn’t want to make her uncomfortable. Then she throws him into the friend zone and complains to him about all the asshole men that treat her poorly.

“Oh, if only I wasn’t invisible to her. If only she would notice ME, her best friend, and realise that I am right here and I am exactly what she is looking for” says the poor guy.

Hey, I get it. I used to be that guy. I’ll show you the solution.

There are two things that require a relationship to work. It requires an even mix of:

Compatibility. And;

Chemistry.

With compatibility only, you have a friend. Right now you are compatible with all of your real friends, hence why they are your friends. But, if you had chemistry with your friends, you would be going down on them, and they would be doing the same back to you.

With only Chemistry, you have a fuck buddy. You have someone you probably argue with, and then you have makeup sex with them. They annoy you, but are so goddamn sexy and touch all the right sexual buttons that you just want to get up in their body.

When we have sex with someone enough, our body produces hormones such as oxytocin. It gives you that “warm fuzzy” feeling like you are in love. And people do fall in “love” after having lots of sex with each other because it “feels so right”. Now, just because it “feels” right, doesn’t mean it’ll last.

Relationships break down because you don’t have enough Chemistry AND Compatibility. Compatibility is the marriage of people’s values and beliefs that work together and complement each other nicely. Chemistry is our primal and our animalistic sexy-time to perpetuate the species. We need both of these for a relationship to work.

Nice guys finish last because they don’t know how to create that chemistry. They don’t know how to be a Man and incite the sexuality. They also don’t have strong boundaries and let everyone walk all over them like a goddamn doormat.

No one likes to have uncomfortable situations or to tell someone a hard truth. It sucks. But it is a natural part of life that needs to be talked about and enforced, or you become a door mat stuck in some sexy girl’s friend zone.

This is not an excuse to be a dick — because women don’t like them either. But they will choose a Man over a doormat (even if he is a dick) because even though the compatibility is off and the asshole is a full-blooded asshole, she will choose the asshole over the nice guy because the asshole will at least be a Man and go after what he wants — Which is usually something to do with chemistry.

There is a fine line between being an asshole and being a Man. Some people will perceive some men as assholes, but some girls will love it and think that they’re amazing. The only thing to do here is to be yourself, enforce your boundaries and understand that you aren’t supposed to get along with everyone in the world. We are all too different for that to ever happen.

The rules are same in business — If you try to be nice and attract EVERYONE, you will attract NO ONE. If you pick a target market, or a niche, then cater to THEIR needs with YOUR services, you will be very, very successful.

Find your tribe by being yourself and the right girls and guys will be drawn to you like a moth to a blue light. Friendships and relationships will become infinitely easier and drama-free because you will just get each other. Of course, you’re also going to tread on a few toes and piss some people off, but hey, they just aren’t your target market.

You can learn way more about this (and more) if you want to attract a High-Quality Woman by my Better Man System. It is an Online Training for Men who want to escape a Low-Quality Life with Low-Quality Women and achieve success in dating and in life.

Article was originally published here: http://www.guysguidetobreakups.com/relationships/why-nice-guys-finish-last/