The reasoning behind my infamous IDGAF attitude...
All my life, I’ve worried about how others perceived me. And it was freaking ridiculous. Until I hit an liberating moment in eighth grade with my best friend, I didn’t let myself loose because I was scared of the way people would think of me. But that liberating moment changed my entire life. Fast forward two years later, and I’m still grateful for that one moment where I just stopped caring. And I’ll be eternally grateful for it.
It was my “birthday sleepover” with my best friend whose birthday is 2 days after mine. Crazy, right? Anyway, we were walking back from the downtown area in my town and we just started listening to random Beyonce songs and funky remixes we found through Youtube videos. Out of nowhere, this strange girl I was calling my best friend started to dance. And not in this casual cool way. It was all or nothing, and of course I stared at her like she was a lunatic. I was looking at her like the stunned people in the cars driving by but after about thirty seconds passed, I unbuckled my knees and started crazily bobbing to the beat like a monkey on crack. And in that short moment, there were no f*cks given, not even a single flying f*ck. That was the beginning of my life because it was where I truly realized that life was too short to even care.
Now I don’t care. I just live because most likely, the people who see you dancing to Single Ladies for 0.5 seconds through their rear view mirror are never going to see you again, and you’ll never see them again. The people who look at you and judge you simply don’t know that life holds way more than a reputation or making yourself look good.
I stopped caring because I know that I’m happy and that the people who may think I’m ludicrous are simply unenlightened about this sort of stuff. I stopped caring because I know I’m having a hell of a better time than the people who just don’t get it. I stopped caring because I know that in ten years, I’m not going to regret the little things that made me smile and laugh so hard that I couldn’t even see.
I stopped caring because I know that no matter what I do, someone is going to judge me. You can’t please everyone so all you gotta do is please yourself.
And that is why I stopped caring.
Originally published at butimbrenda.com on November 29, 2015.