Ladies, This is Why You Need a Tribe.
Tensions between women seem to be at an all-time high. Throughout our culture, you see depictions of women fighting over careers, relationships, and status #CardiBandNickiMinaj. Instead of helping each other build, we are tearing each other down. It appears that competitions and comparisons have gotten the best of us. Is this the new normal? Do women even need relationships with one another?
We’re not the first generation to have these issues. Some of the most significant female relationships fails are recorded in the Bible. Sarah and Hagar’s tension (Genesis 16 and 21) caused one of the greatest sibling rivalries in history. Rachel and Leah (Genesis 30) also had a strain that caused friction for their children in the years to come. Both instances include bouts of jealousy, comparison, and competition. Sadly, these relationship issues don’t just affect the women involved, but they have lasting implications for generations to come.
So what’s the solution? Regardless of what society may portray we need each other. Recently the concept of Tribes has appeared heavily in culture. I’m sure you’ve seen a t-shirt, mug, or meme with a “tribe” saying. But what is a tribe? I’ve seen a few tribes, that are led by someone pushing their product and advice on others through digital platforms. But I believe a tribe is a life group — not in a cliché way. A tribe brings out the best in each member by offering support, accountability, friendship, and recognition. Together, they do life encouraging each other to grow and develop in their God-given purpose.
What would happen if women took on the tribe mentality? What if instead of comparing ourselves and letting competition breed between us we had harmony, transparency, and unity. Then maybe, just maybe, girls would really run the world! On a serious note, we’re all seeking purpose and looking to live our best lives, but to be great, we’re going to need a tribe mindset. My favorite teacher, Dr. Jermone Glenn, says this “Your calling demands responsibility and your assignment demands accountability.” Who better to keep you accountable than a group of amazing women?
It’s sad that this thought is so counter-culture, but it’s true! As females, there is so much more we can accomplish together. Imagine, instead of cleaning your house by yourself, you had five girlfriends cleaning with you. Have a big project due for work, sit down with your tribe and go over it in a safe place. These relationships help catalyst us toward success. Ecclesiastes 4:9–10 sums it up perfectly for us, “Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.” That is a depiction of community.
So what do we need to do live the tribe lifestyle?
1. Collaboration over competition — It’s so easy to convince yourself that you’re in competition with others. Whether it’s a job promotion, social attention, or attraction we tend to have a competitive edge. The problem is competition can force us to work against each other when we should be working with each other. Find ways that you can collaborate with others instead. If you’re looking to get a promotion work on projects that elevate you and other people, highlighting all of the group’s skills. Are you creating a brand through digital marketing? Partner similar brands for audience sharing. Are you finding yourself competing over attention from a guy? Stop it, your perfect mate will find you, but in the meantime go out with other women and celebrate one another.
2. Creating Authentic Relationships — Having a tribe mindset doesn’t mean that you need to be everyone’s best friend. But it does require you to develop real comradery with others. Not surface-level connections, but intentional strategic alliances. When you have these meaningful friendships it becomes less about what benefits us personally, and more about what helps the group as a whole. You should have authentic relationships in every community you are involved in (i.e., work, school, church, etc.).
3. Cancel Negative Thoughts– This lifestyle requires us to cancel out negative thoughts. With the messages that are always pushed in our faces, it’s nearly impossible for negative feelings about someone not to enter our minds. But, we have control over our thoughts! Every opportunity you have you should assume positive intent from others. You should love others yourself and seek the best for them in your thought-life.
If we could all start to pick up these behaviors our relationships with women would be transformed. Truthfully, our relationships with all people will be better. What if we focused our energy on solving the problems of this world instead of tearing one another down? It can be accomplished, but you’re going to need a tribe!
