Burst

Conflict deserves meditation. I just left a meeting and Bible study whereas I asked a man “ how do you reach them.” He answered Love.

In school I’m constantly asked to challenge what I’m learning in the Word, versus how I actually feel about those things found in the Word. It leaves me wondering how do I find that relationship if at the end of the day I’m questioning the origin, contextually. It’s a daunting circumstance. My quest for knowledge and my search for truth and wisdom. They are opposed at times.

I need to spend more time reaching for that relationship. More time in solitude. I haven’t always been comfortable with God. I need more time with Him.

This isn’t the only area of my life I have this dichotomy. Have you ever loved someone and found yourself without them, needing to find a way to be ok with that? Same dimebag of disastrous feelings.

There is only one true answer for me today. I’m going to have to take this to God. More prayer and more listening.

Would I? Would she? I can’t interrupt this process. I know this is the way. I know this is put in front of me to make me rounded in the ways God wants me.

My love can only go so far. I am without power. This is the truth. I have never had any power. I just want it today, and that won’t work. I haven’t accomplished anything yet. I’m still building. I don’t want to miss anymore time laughing.

I need guidance.

We discussed generational curses and soul ties. All these must stop with me. I mustn’t perpetuate the same sins and same crimes.

I’m in my first 90. Maybe it all comes to together. Whatever that looks like, it can all come together. I have a tremendous amount of Faith that it will.

Lord,

I’m here. I know that You provide the opportunity and the capability. I know that You can teach me to love as You do. Lord, I was arrogant and selfish. Please forgive that. I want no other consequence, than to know You.

Lord,

You know my heart, and my desires. Your will be done. Please help my family. I have not abandoned them and I feel as if I have. Lord keep them please.

Lord, use me and please help me understand all that I’m seeing and reading and working toward is for the glory of You and not the glory of me. Please alter my tongue and heart to reflect what is good in your eyes.

Lord,

Have I ruined all possibility? All is possible through You. I’m bringing this to You. I’m leaving it with you.

I pray all this Lord, in Jesus name Amen.

I know the direction. I’m prepared to walk that direction. I’m preparing for what I’ll find when I get there. It’s important not to forsake Your promise. Thank You.. amen

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