This morning is wearing me out. I woke up immediately reaching for what my heart desires. This is a problem for me at times. I am very critical of myself these days, well I’ve always been critical but now, I am a US Marshall ready to lock myself away forever. I am looking for myself under the filthy overturned rocks of yesterday. The good news is I don’t have to look far. I don’t have to look at all. I’m right here.
Sitting with the Lord, learning to remove what blocks me from Him. This isn’t easy. My ego tells me it is, but the angel network of truth speakers surrounding tell me nothing is easy. Especially when generated from a place of honesty. Honesty is hard. Listening for direction is hard for the impatient. I will take the message and act on it. The only message thus far is don’t stop writing. Every area of my life is demanding that I empty myself.
Today I want on acknowledge that I am who I am in God’s Grace, no matter how I strive to perform, no matter how hard I tried to please or become perfect, not matter how hard I pretend I am still who I am in God’s Grace. None of those things deter His Grace. These are the attachments I add. Sitting here with these words. I am who I am because of that Grace ( 1 Corinthians 15:10 NIV).
The mask is being ripped off. I am still listening. I am still longing, seeking discernment. How long will you stay away? How long until we speak that language?
this feeling is pulling me apart and only You can keep me together. You are teaching me the way. I am in awe of Your miracles Your blessings.
It is Grace, but why do I not feel deserving? Lord, You have forgiven me, but I sit prideful refusing to believe I can be forgiven. I have placed the flesh above You. I have idolized people and things, places Lord above You. You should rip my tongue out and destroy me for my Pride. Please remove it. Just take away this pain that causes me to turn my head, that causes me to think there is anything more valuable that the Love you have given us. I pray for them, I want them safe. The world is so unsafe. I was of that world Lord, and it hasn’t become easier, it isn’t easy. Lord, you are breaking me against the rocks and rebuilding me, still I am here at Your feet, tears in my eyes one prayer for myself , awake me, God help. Help.
My eyes have been set on my own desires, I know You will reveal what is to be. I am listening for direction, I am stumbling through those waking moments. I am not alone but I feel so alone. You are everywhere God, but I am selfish. You are breaking the outside of me to release the bloom. Please teach me the ways to share the growth if that be Your Will. I don’t want to be afraid anymore.
I Love You. It is enough. You are enough. Instill in me the Method, the Love, the Power Lord, build me Lord I am Yours.
I must pray her name, she is many, she is hurting, she is stolen, I want her released from her place in fear Lord. The traffickers come dressed as sheep Lord. As I have been dressed to deceive Lord, reveal the truth. Free them Lord. Free them. Free them Lord. Take me instead. Free them. I pray all this is You Son’s name. I pray all this is the redeeming power of Jesus. Your Son , the One You gave , the One we took. Thank you Lord. Amen.
You make me brave. You call me. I am not qualified and you call me ….