realize a flash then gone
leaning his bike against the rail he shudders against this wind. a year ago he was bent up fetal and hurting. So much has changed in a year. pulling the wool closer around his cheeks eyes closed now, the dream is the same. against all odds she had fallen in love with him. breathe now boy she didn’t just fall for you but for all those terms interchangeable like happiness, freedom, independence, now another, so now interdependence. eyes closed again he sees her, his hands cradling her face. her possessions all of them were there hidden in the corner of her perfectly formed mouth. here. he pushes her backward and down into the ice water holding her there. he knows it is true. the sound of ice cubes and muffled resistance. she trusted him the first time and the 8th time. she doesn’t trust him anymore. he could have kissed her but instead hurt her. when he wakes the river is gone the bike is gone. the wind is repelled by the wool that he pulls forward to cover toes retreating to that bent and fetal place called regret and awareness. his days cannot always begin this way, will not carry him nor prop him up.
under the massage like sensation of running water again he see eyes closed he sees and he hears the laughter and the sound of feet slipping . one palm to fallen heel and shes up higher climbing him up twisting her mouth raising his skin. eyes open he knows there is no one but he will work it into his skin up under his neck down his thighs he will work it into dry abandoned knees and waterproof ankles. he is late in acknowledging this freedom he is late in acknowledging her head in his hands. even more he is late in delivering his promise. time has insisted and he has responded. time has insisted and he will never be late again. he will stay up late discussing the human condition, but he will not be late. he will argue with the ignorant but he will not be late. time is priority he has responded. he will be on time promising new possessions to hide in the corner of your mouth.