“Doing What I Gotta Do”

I hear everyone talk about doing what they have to do but have a much more difficult time finding the people doing the things they want to be doing. With their time and in turn with their lives as a whole.

For themselves and others. The ones they wake up and naturally care about rather than the ones they are paid to serve. I say to myself “what a shame” but they don’t seem to think or know so. So I quietly continue on my path to free myself and them as well of the chains they choose not to see.

They say things they think they’re supposed to among themselves. Yet there’s so much they’d like to say,to themselves and to each other. I have to walk away as I watch none of them find a way to. We slowly all come together around the round table of regret and to it each of us contribute our portion of the unsaid. You’ll never hear it though, because it’s hidden in our talks of the weather and the minuet. We’re too busy telling the people we care about all about the things neither care about, to tell them we care about them and I find it absurdly sad. We’re too content with pretending everything’s fine to address issues. We’re too busy building resentments to rebuild relationships. Too much finger pointing and not enough self awareness. An abundance of self doubt but not an ounce of self acceptance to be found.

They speak of their God as if all he does is keep those of us that have passed company and distribute communion on Sundays. Too many of them remember him the way teachers spoke of him when they were young. The guilt they have for all they haven’t said and wish they had done has built a gap between them. Prayer is something they teach their kids but stopped saying themselves, God knows when.

One by one we all head back in our own directions and realize all we should have said in quiet moments of reflection.

My aim is to not change what’s happened but instead to help you avoid what doesn’t have to. Do the things you want to do in this life not the things you’ve been made to believe you have to.

Do what you have to do to find a way to say the things you need to say, not the things you think you’re supposed to or others want to hear. Don’t endure life, live it. Learn to accept what you can’t change but don’t ever underestimate your power to change.

Your power to change yourself and the things around you is the greatest power you have, utilize it.